Great post idea, my post is long sorry about that but its just my story and hope it helps some or gives people a better understanding of depression I suffered from depression eent off to college for a degree I didnt really want but felt pushed towards it, and ended up hating my life and had constant thoughts of just kind of driving my car off the road into a tree or something not die but just take away all the responsibility and choices needed of me. I started smoking too a lot(i always enjoyed it and had fun when I did it previously) where I was high more than sober most of the days and that helped numb it for about a month. Then I stopped going to class and for two weeks straight ( not like I was going often or cared any way) and just try to not think amd kept my mind distracted with tv and video games until I fell asleep from exhaustion. During this time I quit smoking because I started getting anxiety attacks everytime I did so after I stopped it was only like every other day I felt like my heart was going to explode(not saying weed is good or bad just depends on person). I ended calling my mom and just breaking down one day amd she helped me from falling apart I finished out the semster but failed all classes(a waist of thousands of dollars that me feel even worse and worthless). Moved back home where I was lucky enough to have a gf who supported me through this and drove 4 hrs to see often( almost lost her durming this but luckily I didnt:)) and a supportive family (runs in family brother had it too but worse) and did another semester at a community school before taking a year off. I took about a year afterwards until I found myself again but I feel like I think less now trying to avoid my own thoughts and just go with the flow never thinking to hard on one thing. Im better now but it is a tough road and still have dark days. It always helps to share with people ( why I like the thread) and just remember it is an illness and its not your fault you feel this way even though people may have tougher lives than you but are "happier". [spoiler]sorry it was so long just thought id share my story, also im back in school now going toward an associates I chose and okay with[/spoiler]