Hi there, and welcome to this thread. Continue reading to find out why [b]YOU[/b] might just be the worst thing to happen to this Community, or if you are considered Royally Blue.
Before entry, I'm just going to need to see your Membership Year badge in order to grant you access.
Whoa, hold the phone there, scrub! That's just a dirty Six Year badge you got there. You know what that means? You're bad and you should feel bad. No amount of Dragon threads would ever allow me to accept you for the monstrosity that you are. No sir!
Hi there, folks. Some of you fine people might know me here as Helveck. And I've come to deliver a message:
It's time to restore things to the finer days. It's time to bring back the Elitism of old. The days when we were free to walk on the lesser creatures here that called themselves "Members", "Heroic Members" and "Legendary Members" have returned. This new standard has been implemented and officiated by yours truly! And if you're a member with 6 Years or less on this site, and in this forum... Just know one thing:
You're trash.
That's right, you're a disappointment and an inferior specimen.
This forum was once ripe with incredible and superior individuals. Their words allowed this place to shine, and brought to life the truest form of beauty and majesty that my eyes had ever seen. And most importantly, we kept the lower beings in their place... Way down in the dirt where they belong.
So, in order to clearly divide the classes, I think it's appropriate to devise a set of rules for each population.
[b]New Age Mythics[/b] [i](Seven years or more)[/i]:
[b]1.[/b] Every forum entry must clearly state in some way, your superior nature to everyone around you.
[b]2.[/b]If a lesser being argues with you, remind them that they do not posses a Membership Badge above Seven Years and as such, all words in which they speak are simply mindless ramblings that no one cares about.
[b]3.[/b] It is your right as a New Age Mythic to tell the lesser people how pointless their threads are, and how they are nothing but a plague on his Community.
[b]4.[/b] Remind lesser people that in addition to their inferior intellectual capabilities, that they will also never be as beautiful as you are.
[b]5.[/b] If the lesser creatures do not flatter you and shower you with compliments, gifts, and gift baskets (usually a combination of crackers, wines and assorted cheeses) PM Moderators and Mentors immediately to rectify this situation. If that does not work, PM Achronos or DeeJ.
[b]6.[/b] If you make a thread a post, and one of the lesser kinda makes a reply directed at you, simply ignore them. Never quote them and never give them any attention. Doing this would deceive them into thinking they possess something relevant to share, when we all know this is simply not true.
[b]7.[/b] You know what? Just mute them. Mute all of them. Not a member with 7+ Years? Yup, muted.
[b]New Age Inferiors[/b] (Six years or less):
[b]1.[/b] Don't post.
[b]2.[/b] If you're dumb enough to break rule #1, immediately PM every member with a badge that is Seven Years or older and apologize for your insolence while also stating that you have learned the error of your ways.
[b]3.[/b] If you STILL feel compelled to post for whatever asinine reason, simply remember that you must always quote and agree with whatever a certain New Age Mythic might be saying. The comfort here is knowing that we are never wrong.
[b]4.[/b] Did you post something stupid? That's ok, we expect that from you! Simply PM Achronos asking him to permanently delete your account, and for an added measure of safety, to ban your IP address. Have a nice holiday!
[b]5.[/b] Whether on the bus, or at your computer desk... If you enter a thread and you see a New Age Mythic, remember to display your reverence by grovelling before us. Make sure that nose touches the ground! We don't want you half-assing this now!
[b]6.[/b] Know that you [i]are[/i] bad. And you're only getting six shitty rules for your six shitty years (If that).
Well, that's all for now folks! Hopefully with these new rules in place, we can all work together towards making this a better, and far superior area of this site. A place where we can once again bask in the glory of our own greatness.
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Ok for one, I'm not reading all that shit. Two, who gives a -blam!- what you think.
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Been here longer than OP. My martini requires a refill....
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http://orig15.deviantart.net/0053/f/2013/206/3/d/soundwave_superior_by_geeshin-d6f6rr7.jpg I don't need losers like you telling me where in your broken aristocracy I fall into place all who agree bump and say that you are superior and say so proudly against this jerk face
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Edited by Inshaneindabrain: 8/9/2015 6:38:17 PMYes master, your post has enlightened me as to the foolishness and arrogance of my pitiful ways, and I promise that this will be my last post before I respectfully withdraw into eternal silence with a constant remembrance of the glory and might of Mythic members. Praise Helveck.
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New Age Mythic reporting for duty. ;) What's with all the Debbie Downers that are taking this post seriously (nice necrobump btw, to whichever one of you necromancers is responsible)?
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Lmao, yeah ok OP while you were here b itching about children on the Internet these last 7 years, I've been in Iraq, and Afghanistan cleaning up the real problems. Have a safe day :)
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I would like to state that I've been with bungie since the first halo came out. I had not set up my account though for bungie.net until in 2012 when I thought it something I should do. I remember I set up my account and read through the Halo forum for awhile. I would occasionally visit the forum if I was bored, but not much else. So In my opinion I wear a 3 year badge that is incorrect. I've been here quite awhile. Just not on the forum and such.
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Welp, time to bathe in the salty tears of those taking this as anything other than satire.
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I take it the wife bought you a new bottle of scotch today.
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Lol you're a -blam!-ing loser who must no life the forums all day if reading posts on forums makes your day you my friend need to go outside
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Punish me more master
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I cast raise dead!
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Tbh im just happy to be here
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Tl;dr
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>tfw reading and replying to this post as a Six Year
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#satire Wait, actual forum status returns #thisshouldbeimplemented
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I feel an extreme compulsion to grovel with all my might. You truly are a forum god, Mr. Helveck.
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I find it funny that you say this. I am only 15 so logically, I couldn't be a 7yr+member. The reason I find it is funny, is because I could kick your ass.
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And I thought newfomans were cancer. You just raised the bar.
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Edited by SLothw3llington: 7/27/2015 2:55:01 AMAnd just like that, your a sweaty loser.
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I'm lost in the internet, can you help me find my way back home :(
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Damn I was hoping this topic was dead so I can perform the unholy necrobump.......
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Wow, enforcing caste psychology on a medium as lowly as b.net, now i see why genocide is a good thing >¬>
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Were you not once new to the community? You could have been around since day one for all I care, but saying your superior for being here longer just ain't cool
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You are garbage. That's right, you OP. Some of us were playing the first Halo from below the thunder of a flight deck without an Internet connection for thousands of miles. You think cause you were posting in a forum a few years ago that you are any better than a Kindergaurdian, but you're not. You aren't any better than kid who just bought the newest bungie title today with mom's stolen credit card.