The company behind the famed "Suros Regime" has yet again announced another product recall saying that "the time to kill is still to high" and they would try to bring it over the TTK minimum, that opposing competitors in the crucible are very fond of whilst holding their OHK shotguns, and fusion rifles. The primary fusion rifle manufacturer has announced that they are also recalling a majority of their products, to be replaced with inferior ones, so as to increase the spread to comply with Crucible standards and prevent the obscenely overpowered weapon from cross mapping Guardians, however this has had little lasting impact on the average fusion rifle user.
The main manufacturer of AP-rounds has announced that they will stop selling their premium AP rounds and only sell, cheap knockoff's they found in the bottom of a well. The reason for this sudden downgrade is the constant complaints shotgun users complaining about being "wallbanged" while standing with their back against a wall firing at anything that moves right in front of them, in a tactic commonly refered to as "camping". An unidentified source from inside the company also said the company wanted Omnigul and Valus, to be able to have a reasonable chance of defeating the guardians so they could sell them more inferior products.
All of this military hardware meant to fight the invaders, being "nerfed" for the sake of the crucible crowd.
We're all going to die.
Back to you NBAH3.
"In other news, pulse rifle manufacturers have decided to replace their original confetti rounds with actual bullets. Sources say the the confetti rounds were "certainly festive, but likely not the optimal choice for slaying minions of the darkness, Back to you Walrus"
Thank you NBAH3, thats all the time we have for today folks... See you next time.
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Randal The Vandal is ok with this.
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In other news, pulse rifle manufacturers have decided to replace their original confetti rounds with actual bullets. Sources say the the confetti rounds were "certainly festive, but likely not the optimal choice for slaying minions of the darkness"
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Randal the vandal approved.
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Clever.
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Haven't seen these creative post in a while just of bunch of kids bitvhing about their imaginary guns, salud'
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Love it, very informative article. Remember guardians, The More You Know.
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The manufacturer of "Suros Regime" [b]is[/b] Suros. The gun is called the "Regime".
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Guardians are too op is the real problem The enemies are dumbest predictable snails u could ask for XD guardians look elsewhere for a challenge when shooting up darkness becomes a stale taste of "effort"
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So you're saying with that huge 2.5% base damage reduction you can no longer kill that mob that's standing still in pve with your Suros???
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Whaaa!!! the nerf made pve harder for me now.. not fair!!!! that is all this thread says.
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If only Trip Mine manufacturers would step up their game and create safer products. I've heard stories of them being hazardous to other Guardians.
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Edited by TexMechanicas ATF Buddy.: 3/3/2015 6:18:02 PMBump! I bet there l is way more loyalty in the fan base towards the PVE... but they are trying desperately to keep the old halo players happy.... If this game was made for the crucible, why does the crucible SUCK SO BAD? they are obviously losing their fracking minds at bungie, WHERE IS THE PVE LOVE?! BUFF EVERY THING IN PVE, AND NERF EVERYTHING IN PVP! PLAIN AND SIMPLE, GIVE EVERYTHING THE EXACT SAME STATS IN PVP, PROBLEM SOLVED... That will insure it actually takes skill in pvp, and is fun elsewhere
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On the bright side, pulse rifle manufacturers have increased bullet damage!
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This is awesome!
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FWC keeps giving my Hunter Titan gear.
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slow clap ensues.......+1 sir
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Vanguard, supposedly supplying equipment for the war effort, vanguard marks representative of direct actions in battle against the Darkness Yet all the tower factions base their economy on crucible gambling marks Insanity
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While I'm not upset over the rebalancing/nerf (whatever you want to call it), this is pretty funny. Bump for sense of humor.
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I like this post.
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I like this but please stop blaming the crucible crowd. Bungie obviously has the ability to nerf in pvp and keep the same in pve. See: shotguns. 100% buff in pve, unchanged pvp
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Haha very good. Bump
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Lols. So true. The fact that IB is a discontinued manufactured weapon speaks volumes. If a weapons company had the same success with a weapon IRL, they would revive it, regardless of the "it might explode" risk in the lore of this game.
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[quote][i]"The Darkness is coming back. We will not survive it this time."[/i][/quote]
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Truth.
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Edited by Fatgull: 3/3/2015 12:47:56 PMThis is true, and my fellow hunter agent looking into the matter "mysteriously exploded" in orbit due to a "failure in the engine department". I suspect there is foul play involved. For Traveler's sake the man [i]just had his ship checked at the shipwright![/i]