originally posted in:CentauriAlpha Fan Fiction
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Sorry this is coming so late, but here's the last part of chapter two. Once again, bump and comment if you liked it, and constructive criticism is always welcome. If you have read chapter one, the link to it will be posted right here.
https://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Post/109858574/0/0
If you're looking for Part 1 of Chapter Two, the link to it will be posted right here
https://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Post/110407071/0/0
"I've already died twice before. I will NOT die today!!!"
Zavala, ignoring the searing pain inside his chest as the Arc blade began to tear his left lung in two, crouched far enough to slam his fists against the ground. His mighty Fists of Havoc tore the very ground asunder, the shockwave blowing back both of the Hunters. The Awoken Hunter flew out the doors and smashed into the hallway, groaning from the impact. Zavala tried to stand up, and immediately hacked up a torrent of blood. Black begin to tinge his field of vision as he began to lose precious oxygen to his brain. Even his light was beginning to fade away. The once mighty Titan proceeded to stand up once more and limp through the door. What he saw outside both horrified and disgusted him. During the entirety of the fight Zavala had been wondering what had happened to the guards posted outside the doors. It turns out they were all dead.
Twenty of the finest the Vanguard had to offer had been slaughtered. Blood had splattered all over the walls and was dripping to the floor in rivulets. The room stank of burning flesh. Everywhere he turned there were arms, legs, and necks that had been shattered, the jagged bones tearing through the twisted and lopsided appendages they were once properly a part of. He could even see the scattered remains of one Guardian's entrails, the broken body looking as if had been crudely disembowled with a knife. Zavala finally vomited up the remains of his stomach when he viewed the broken remains of Ghosts scattered around the numerous bodies, crushed beyond repair. Standing amidst the carnage was the demoness who had so ruthlessly murdered Cayde. She smiled in glee as she witnessed Zavala's reaction to such needless death and destruction.
Zavala could not move. He could not speak. He could only stare as the Awoken Hunter giggled in satisfaction at her previous handiwork. Thus there was nothing to stop the other Hunter, alive and very much pissed, from sticking one of his knives into Zavala's unguarded back. He did not scream as he fell to the ground. He did not scream as the masked Hunter pulled the knife out of his broken lung.
He did not scream as he was turned onto his back to watch the masked Hunter finally take off his helm. He only began to scream as the masked Hunter proceeded to stab Zavala to death.
.........
The hulking Titan was just getting up as Ikora floated gracefully to the ground. Itami had fallen about 150 feet, and had smashed into what once was a beautiful marble fountain. He had completely crushed it, and water from the exposed pipe was spewing into the air, the droplets pattering onto the Titan's armor.
Ikora was surprised that the Titan had escaped the fall looking as well as he did, but the unpronounced rage coming from the Exo's eyes told a different story. The feeling that she would not escape here alive was unshakeable.
"Years ago, the legendary Titan Saint-14 wished to rid the very world of the Darkness.
The Titan's voice, as calm and serene as an Exo's could be, did not all mirror the anger and hate coming from his eyes.
"Alone, he attempted a crusade against the very forces that wished to eradicate us. Despite his unrivaled power, he failed, utterly and completely, and he died alone because of his shortcomings."
"Spare me the monologue Itami. I know more than you know about Saint-14. What does this have to do with you trying to kill the Speaker?"
Itami merely smirked.
"Everything."
And his arms erupted alight with Arc energy.
There was no time to think. All Ikora could do was duck and weave, dodging the path of his lightning infused fists. All the while Itami became more and more frustrated as she continued to effortlessly evade his attacks. With a mighty roar he leaped forward and smashed his fists into the ground. The sheer force from his Fists of Havoc shattered the ground around him, spraying chunks of concrete in all directions and leaving a crater in his wake 20 feet wide. But Ikora's body wasn't broken and bleeding beneath his feet. Instead she was behind him, having Blinked away at the last second.
Itami lost it. He suddenly became consumed by his rage, and charged Ikora blindly like a mad bull. She stood her ground, and as he approached, she knocked him backward to the ground with a ferocious palm strike. Itami looked up, dazed, having regained enough of his senses to see a portion of his chest piece was gone. A perfect circle of the plasteel plating had simply been vaporized, and the metal around it was blackened and warped. He looked up at Ikora. The Warlock's hands were completely wreathed in an ethereal, purple fire. He had never seen any Warlock use such a technique, but that was all he could comprehend before his rage washed over him again.
The Titan never stopped, never ceased to attack. No matter how many chunks of armor Ikora tore off with her fiery hands, no matter how many times she would push him back with Nova Bombs that would have killed any lesser Guardian, he continued to fight her. The battle seemed to go on forever, a splendid display of violet explosions, bursts of flame, and wills of steel. It was a surprise to see how fast it ended.
Itami made one last desperate attempt to finish the fight, charging her head on as he had done countless times before. Ikora expected nothing different from the seemingly simple minded Titan. When he came close enough, the Warlock slapped Geyser across the face, stunning the Titan just long enough for Ikora to lock her other hand on the left side of his head, and watched as the fire that covered his hands began to vaporize his metallic skin. Itami, still blinded by rage, thrust his lightning infused hand into Ikora's stomach. White light seared her vision at the sudden intense pain that erupted from her abdomen, and she collapsed to the ground, the purple fire sputtering out. Like an animal, Itami proceeded to rip out her intestines, her entrails splayed out all around her. Blood gushed profusely from the open cavity, like the water from the open pipeline beside them.
Finally, in what could be considered an act of mercy, Itami grasped Ikora's head between his fingers and proceeded to split her skull. The Warlock's head burst open like a watermelon, blood, brain, and bone grasped tightly between his fingertips.
Itami stood up slowly, and released a pent up breath, the last of his monstrous rage seeming to have subsided. As he turned to leave, something flickered out of his peripheral vision. He quickly whipped around and grabbed Ikora's Ghost, raised it triumphantly above his head, and crushed it into indiscernible bits.
When Geyser returned to the council room, he found both Hunters attentively standing outside the doors, waiting for him.
"Where are there Ghosts?"
Both Hunters opened there palms and showed the him the remains of two shattered Ghosts.
"Impressive. Your actions should be commemorated. Now on to the next phase."
"And what would that next phase be, sir?" said the masked Hunter.
"Tell our allies that our part is done. Tell them I want the head of every Warlock in the city brought to my feet. There's just one last thing we have to do."
Geyser stepped into the council room, his auto rifle pulled out and ready to shred his final target, but there was no way it could. The Speaker was gone.
Here it is guys. What you have all been waiting for; my third installment to my new fan fiction "A New Regime".
https://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Post/112371781/0/0
English
#anewregime
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Edited by ShadowAngel9228: 3/22/2015 2:12:41 PMI love the creativity with your writing. It really seems like it comes natural to you and as a writer myself (not Destiny related stories) and this is my opinion but sometimes there is a thing of going about it a little too gory. I don't mind it but the thing about doing this and all the brutality is I started expecting it after a while because there was so much of it. What makes a good story is having twists and not having everything be the same (EX. being the brutality sort of took away the audience not being surprised all three major vanguard operatives dying). That's all I really have for my own criticism, but don't let that change how you yourself want to write YOUR OWN story. I love it and just keep up the good work. Like I said, I like your creativity and I can see it. Really hoping you reveal how these rogue guardians came to be lol. So far the Awoken female Hunter is my favorite, I want to know her name now lol. edit: out of curiosity may I know what your goal of this story idea is? what I mean by this is are you trying to make it like a book, or little articles so to speak in story form? If it's a book you're looking to do longer chapters would make it go a long ways, if you're planning on a book anyways.