[spoiler] play this for ambientation: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iof5pRAIZmw [/spoiler] Hello there, Guardian! Pushing the [b]Darkness[/b] back and making the galaxy a safer place from the comfort of your sofa? Making your character run and jump all over the place, while the only parts of your actual body getting exercise are your fingers while mashing the buttons, and your jaw when you rage about that scrub who just 1-shot you? We know that farming those Spirit Blooms and raising up that reputation takes some time, Guardian, but you should not leave your physical body unattended. You could end up being as dangerous as Atheon on the screen, but as round as Sepkis Prime behind the controller! But worry no longer! [i]We bring you…[/i] [b][i]THE DESTINY FITNESS PROGRAM!![/i][/b] When you are fighting the Hive, the Vex and all of the other alien scum, you need to focus completely on the screen. But luckily, Destiny has given us so many loading screens that you can wait longer than an Internet Explorer user back in 1998 before actually [i]starting to play[/i]! And here´s the thing: that loading time doesn´t necessarily have to be [b]WASTED[/b] TIME! - Going to orbit on a mission? [i]Get down on your feet & palms, and do pushups![/i] - Returning from a successful attack, and back to the Tower? [i]Time to do crunches, Guardian![/i] - Got killed in the Crucible and waiting to resurrect? [i]Stretch, or do some squats![/i] - Waiting 20+ seconds for the mission to end, and 20 more for the next matchmaking? [i]Work those legs and thrust like you mean it![/i] Work out in every Destiny session and, in no time and from the safety of your house, you will become as strong as a Titan, and agile as a Hunter! Your nerdy Warlock-like intelligence will remain just as sharp, and you will be able to use it to rant on the forums about that class or ability that you hate, as usual! [i]Hit as hard as the pre-nerfed Mythoclast! [/i] [b][i]Become as slim as DENSITY´S PLOT!![/i][/b] Subscribe now to the [b]DESTINY FITNESS PROGRAM[/b] and we will give you a box of Ascendant Shard Cookies and a plushy stress-ball of the Traveller, so you can throw it at the screen the next time the Speaker says that “he could tell you” about stuff, but then doesn´t. DESTINY FITNESS PROGRAM!! [spoiler] Don´t be mad, Warlock users, I love you all, and Warlocks are dope, yo [/spoiler] EDIT: Wow! It looks like people are ACTUALLY starting to do this! Which brings a smile to my face because I actually based the text on myself: one day, I skipped gym to play Iron Banner and thought "might as well do pushups between matches to compensate"!