Dude, I was on the toilet at work and when I left the bathroom, I could hardly walk straight. A crap so violent I felt like I was just sodomized.
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I sneezed and pooped at the same time. It shot out so fast the water splashed up my back. I stood up scared to move so I called out to my girl and she came running in to see why I was yelling then started laughing and gagging at the same time. Fml.