[b]Symptoms:[/b] Patients suffering from Aulakauss may exhibit an increase in uttered gibberish, fits of screaming at inanimate objects, long dialogs with themselves in which they play both sides and an unusually high amount of close platonic relationships with farm animals. In more advanced stages of the disease, rapid degradation of logic pathways in the brain leads to a strong belief that they are a unicorn on a mission from god, often paired with bizarre fascination with umbrellas. Patient may occasionally exhibit Tourettes-like symptoms that increase exponentially in severity with exposure to an anonymous audience on the internet. [b]Treatment:[/b] Large amounts of caffeine and an all-soap diet can help, but no known cure has been found.