Go to press the big red button that gets me my coffee, and accidentally press the big red button that launches all the nuclear weapons instead. Reference anyone? :D

I would do my best to decriminalize drug use, push for no more minimum sentencing laws and pardon victimless offenders. Then recognize the legality of gay couples right to wed WITHOUT forcing anyone to participate; while also pushing laws aimed at free commerce (Have the right to refuse service for ANY reason). Downsize the IRS and push for tax reforms, hopefully leading to a simplified tax code for individuals ending in a 12%-18% flat tax rate; eliminate tax loopholes and credits for companies who outsource, instead offer incentives to keep business in state. Cut down military spending and work on reeling in the Empire, while eventually withdrawing ourselves from NATO. Also cut back welfare programs, and with the money try to invest into community job training, such as construction or other skill based labor, while also instituting drug tests and part-time service for recipients. Push for laws giving citizens more claws when it comes to convicting and prosecuting officers who violate peoples' civil rights, in hopes to deter power tripping turds from keeping their guns and badges. Also would apply to any government agency who violates someone rights, including the NSA, hopefully creating repercussions for the offenders. Eventually eliminate federal aid to ALL foreign countries: instead work on more beneficial trade agreements which would be better for both parties in the long run. Edit: Abolish the Affordable Care Act, due to the fact it was not what it was cracked up to be, and sold based on lies; Instead leave private insurance companies alone in the competitive market. Allow more than 2 parties participate in public debates, pushing for a broader selection of elected officials instead of just Red vs Blue same old. Just off the top of my head. AMA.

Purge commencing tomorrow today get your house locked down and barricaded and get armed ready.

bring the monkey revolution to power and then help them conquer the world

Free air guitars for everyone! \(^-^)/

Find out about Area 51

Start a zombie apocalypse and keep all the people that love me with me in a underground survival base.

Press the big red button.

Get rid of all the f@gs in the U.S.

Force everyone to have plastic surgery so they will all look like Dwayne Johnson.

Decriminalize drugs and redirect 80% of the money used to enforce drug laws towards rehabilitation programs. World saved.

Resign!

Find out everything our government knows about aliens.

Have one of my proposed bills shot down in Congress.

Make fedoras the manditiory dress code at all times. Failure to wear a fedora at any time will result in police execution on the spot.

Find me a really good burrito