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Edited by IAmJoshman:
8/15/2015 11:56:45 PM
327
The Chuck Norris "Facts" Thread
Let's all perform our daily worship of Chuck Norris
Now please let us hear the "Facts" the Chuck has to offer
News: 50 Facts, Norris approves
News: 100 Facts, Norris is pleased
News: 250 Facts, Chuck killed Osama bin Laden in fit of happiness
News: 550 Facts, Chuck went in time to stop the JFK assasination. As Oswald shot, Chuck's beard caught and shot back the bullets at Oswald, killing him. JFK's head exploded from sheer amazement.
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Best Facts:
Chuck Norris took oranges off an apple tree and made the best lemonade you've ever tasted - JollyRoger343
Chuck Norris was supposed to star in the show "Man vs. Wild," but the directors didn't want kids thinking that "lava is safe to eat" - Rubyk
Chuck Norris can rub 2 pieces of fire together and make wood -WiliestHarbor66
Chuck Norris knows Victoria's Secret - MasterMG33
Chuck Norris can sit in the corner of a circular room - Omalpha
Chuck Norris got into a knife fight... The knife lost - Omalpha
When Chuck Norris dies he will be carrying his own coffin - hertylip
Chuck Norris likes his meat so rare he only eats unicorns - II Âømârk II
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[b][i][u]THE HALL OF THE NORRIS[/u][/i][/b]
[b][i]The Greatest Contributor: Singh1199[/i][/b]
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When Chuck Norris passes away, he didn't actually die, God just retired. Who else could've taken his place?
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6 RepliesEdited by Amrit: 8/16/2015 3:03:59 AM#Chuck norris has the iPhone 6, and runs android on it. #Chuck norris doesn't do steroids, steroids do chuck norris. #Facebook exists because he wants his enemies to find him-too bad they already died. #chuck norris can find a haystack in a needle. #i had a dream when i punched chuck norris, when i woke up, my hand was broken #chuck norris' iphone has every song and video in the world... On 2 gb. #chuck norris once smiled at a group of children, they are now known as the justice league. #chuck norris punched water, and left a dent #chuck norris went to swim in the ocean, the sharks [i]ran[/i] for land #wikipedia asks chuck norris for information #chuck norris makes ice cubes... In the microwave #if chuck norris wants steak, cows volunteer, brcause it's easier that way #chuck norris can sneeze with his eyes open. Edit- MORE FACTS #life is not, in fact, a box of chocolates. It is more like a box of chuck norris roundhouse kicking you in the face. #god didn't kill the devil, he hired chuck norris to do it. #there is no "slow motion effect". Time slows down when Chuck norris is bored. #chuck norris can draw a [i]perfect[/i] circle with a ruler. #thats not an eclipse... Thats the sun hiding from chuck norris #the guinness book of world records are things chuck norris wished not to take credit for. More facts tomorrow :)
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7 RepliesCome on its 2015 thought this was over
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Edited by Ogma: Destroyer of Worlds: 8/28/2015 1:59:31 AMThe only real fact is... [spoiler]...that Norris is a tool.[/spoiler]
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Chuck bump norris
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Norris Kick
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2 Replies
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Does he "wort?"
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Chuck Norris doesn't shoot the gjallahorn, the gjallahorn shoots him
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2 Replieswhen Chuck Norris looks at a gorgon it dies
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Death once had a near chuck Norris experience.
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My favorite is the polar bear rug, trying to pretend to be dead, his eyes darting around to see if Chuck is watching. Lol
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18 RepliesEdited by Corvo Attano: 7/5/2015 1:43:28 PMChuck Norris expected the Spanish Inquisition
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Chuck Norris knows where Carmen San Diego is
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Chuck Norris doesn't do push ups, he does earth downs.
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When chuck Norris decides to partake in sport he runs across water and swims through land.
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Edited by RogueProgramEXE: 7/20/2015 9:50:00 PMThe force of Big Bang has been measured to be equal one "CNRK" One Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick
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2 RepliesChuck norris once won a pissing contest against two guys, he won by default. The other men drowned
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Norris Bump
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1 ReplyThis is still here?
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Ron Swanson is the Chuck Norris of our day
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5 Replies. . . . . . . . . . . . . . , . . . . . . . . . . . . . ( \( \ ) ,_. . . . . . . . . . ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) { `--.. . . . . . . ./. . (_) `={ \`-._____/`. . .| . `-{. . /. . . -=`\. . . | . . `={. .-= = _/. . ./ . . . .`\. . . ..-'. . . ./` . . . . {`-__.'===,_ . . . . / /`. . . . . . . . .`\\ . . . ./ / . . . `\=
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Chuck Norris endorses total gym.
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9 RepliesEdited by Lykaios Osiris: 8/9/2015 9:50:04 PM[spoiler] [/spoiler]
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Chuck is disappointed that you let this thread die
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Norris RHK
