Here's mine: "The Hunt" [quote]The thrill of the chase; it’s the only thing that drives us executioners. We release the Sepains to their home world’s largest jungle “Phall” and hunt them down to further thin the heard, of course. As good sportsman ship, we executioners give them one whole day to hide in this jungle and to arm ourselves. It’s a wonderful game of hide-and-seek, it really is. Some say it’s cruel of us to do this year after year, but it’s been a tradition for well over one hundred years now and is celebrated widely in our capital here on Sepia. Being the head executioner, I have gathered my share of fans and have admittedly become quite popular among the government here. It’s me, Sanders, the crowd wants. Some say it’s horrific that we conquered this alien race after they sought peace with us, but why is it horrific? The only thing horrific is how little progress these beings made after almost a millennia of existence; they are but beasts to us. I have no sympathy for animals. The hunt begins after the sun rises. We go in to Phall well-armed and bloodthirsty seeking our prey...as well as looking for the creatures that hide along with the Sepians that would have us become the prey. It’s always the new executioners that get eaten up whole by the plants themselves; lads too cocky for their own good fresh out of the executioner’s academy and the plants hunger for blood just as much as we do. Carnivorous bastards sometimes take my kills! The Sepians…they’re smarter than most give them credit for though. They sometimes wait in the swaps of Phall where the sun sparingly shines. Their scales perfectly blend with the murky waters; or so they think. I’ve been at this hunt for over a decade now and seen all their tricks. Can’t fool me anymore. My favorite method of the execution is up-close-and-personal. I set a few claymores around the swaps to hit them hard enough to ensure they won’t make it very far, then I hit the swamp with a concussive grenade or two (depending on if I’m in a foul mood or not). They come pouring out of the swamp like…like…well you ever seen them ol’ videos from way-back-when of those clowns piling out of a car? Well, it’s sort of like that but better. They can’t see where the hell they’re going and some of them are crying and some of them are screaming and then most of them are in real pain once my claymores detonate. The ones who manage to get away usually get eaten up by the plants. All the while, I’m sitting there laughing my arse off! They’re hilariously pathetic. Why just hide? Why not grab a weapon or two off of the chumps who bite the dust early on? These Sepians have been around humans long enough to know they can use those weapons to hurt us, but they don’t. Against their “belief” to harm another living creature. Nonsense, I tell you. Nonsense. After they’re on the ground, all vulnerable and bleeding out I like to take a snip of their finger for a prize; got a whole collection at home. Then I grasp the bottom of the frail bastard’s mug, look em in the eyes, and gouge their throat with me blade. At this point I’ve been called more beast than man as I like watching the life drain from their eyes. Especially the youngins, they have a kind of…special...fear in their eyes. Then after they’re all dead, I bound them up and light them ablaze. On occasion, I do enjoy taking a bite or two out of the well-cooked ones. Very tender and juicy, don’t even need salt! About a week of this hunt goes by and the last day is always my favorite. This is where the hunt gets challenging and I like a good challenge. The best executioners rise to the top while the weak are left to burn with the Sepians. Darwin would be proud, I tell you. The Sepians who are left at this point are usually the eldest and I like hunting them. At the very end of the final day I have usually captured one alive and bring him to the safe point high above where we can have an entire view of Phall. Quite beautiful it is, so I prop them up so they can see too. But the next part is always the best: we set the entire forest ablaze so any straggling executioner and Sepian are burnt to a crisp along with Phall. This is when the elder’s tears usually come in and it makes me chuckle every time. “Don’t worry ya ol dog” I say “It’ll be back by next year in time for the next hunt.” Then they just sit there and cry for a bit. Bitches. Little bitches. They usually say nothing to me and I usually just kill em and kick em down the hill, but this last year one did say something to me. He looked up at me and said, “Human, have you no sense of morality or emotions?” and that made me laugh. “No emotions or morality, friend.” I responded “Just lots, and lots of ammunition.” [/quote]