An L.A. gang member, Nazario Conchuza Gonzalez, who is part of the infamous Ms-13 gang, also called Mara Salvatrucha, has died of medical complications after attempting to gold plate his own genitals to celebrate his 17th anniversary.
The young man that is originally from El Salvador and is an active member of the MS-13 crime family is believed to have attempted to gold plate his own genitals with a professional automotive gold plater stolen from a local garage after first painting his genitals with a lead-based paint, believe experts.
The 17-year old man who was allegedly a fan of the 2002 American comedy movie Goldmember, which is a loose parody of the James Bond films Goldfinger, had taken the Spanish nickname of “Pelotas de oro”, or golden testicles, before attempting to gold plate his own genitals to his ultimate demise.
Gold platting one’s own genitals is “a medical impossibility” and should not be attempted, warns Dr Ian Joseffson.
Dr Ian Joseffson of the Los Angeles Community Hospital warns of a growing trend within gang members to attempt the “deadly operation”.
“This is the third case this year, but we have had many occurrences in hospitals in the region these past years. It seems to be a growing trend within the gang member community” he told reporters.
“I have no idea where this idea comes from but plating one’s own genitals will only ultimately end in serious medical complications or even death, as we have seen in this case” he explained.
Some experts believe the tradition might find it’s roots in prehistoric Mesoamerican cultures, such as the Mayas who painted parts of their bodies with gold paint to empower themselves and as an offering to the Gods.
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Edited by Commando love: 6/24/2015 9:12:30 PM[quote][b]Third case this year[/b][/quote]
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Was he Dutch?
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Those tags
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this is Golden. (pun intended)
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That's how I want to go out. In a blaze of golden glory... [spoiler]in my pants[/spoiler]
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Natural selection.
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he's just trying to sweg himself up like benny ( ͡0 ͜ʖ ͡0)
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Darwin award!
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People don't seem to understand that the way gold plating works is by dissolving gold in acid then using an electric current to cause the metal to attracted to the object. He had to paint his junk with conductive compound, attach electrodes and then dip it in acid. Most likely sulphuric acid.
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The joke is that the people who he slept with, did not in fact, give him a gold rating.
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You have to be a special kind of stupid to do this.
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Edited by Spooky Jarl Maiq: 6/25/2015 3:11:50 PMThis is good. This pleases Maiq.
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Edited by xRADIOACT1V3x: 6/25/2015 2:40:54 PM"I LOVE GOLD"
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So....getting a gold grille wasn't an option. What a AUful decision...
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Ha. Haha. Hahahahahaha!
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He officially wins the Natural Selection award of 2015
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[quote]painted parts of their bodies with gold paint to empower themselves and as an offering to the Gods.[/quote] That's my favorite part lol
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This has gotta be an Onion article.
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It's fake
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He should win a Darwin award.
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Im curious as to how it killed him. I might have missed something while reading probably
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Source?
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Allahu kekbahr
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lol @ medical complications. There's nothing complicated about it. The dumbass was trying to gold plate his nuts. How the F*** did he think this was a good idea? Whatever. One less dumbass banger in the streets. F*** him.
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That's some genuine stupidity right there.