I'll go find Tarzan's mother as a child, tell her the letter 'Z' can be replaced by the letter T, plus make sure she only knows the numbers 1, and 8. Then i'd travel forward in time, don a fancy marx brothers style disguise, knock her up, and have her give birth to a baby boy. But after she gives birth I'll tell her she needs three numbers in the child's name like some crappy email password, and gently push her towards naming you Tartan118.