[b]A voice, distinctly male, comes through the tac pad, the screen displaying an equalizer as it speaks. It's soft and calming, but at the same time, it's metallic and cold, sending shivers down your spine. Perhaps the most chilling thing about it, though, is that it doesn't set off the equalizer.[/b] [i]///Well, well, I was wondering when we'd find you. Forgive the identification process, but we wanted to find you as soon as possible, and a wide range broadcast was deemed most effective. In order to keep everybody else out, however, we had to idiot-proof the entire thing.///[/i] [b]The voice sighs.[/b] [i]///Banana... Out of all the things it could've picked, why such a phallic fruit?///[/i] [b]It coughs, sounding like nails against a chalkboard.[/b] [i]///Could I get a name? Or would you simply prefer 'Sir?'///[/i]