Wait! He isn’t dead! Shia surprise! There’s a gun to your head and death in his eyes. But you can do jiu jitsu… body slam Shia LaBeouf. Legendary fight with Shia LaBeouf. Normal Tuesday night for Shia LaBeouf. You try to swing an axe at Shia LaBeouf. But blood is draining fast from your stump leg. He’s dodging every swipe, he parries to the left. You counter to the right, you catch him in the neck. You’re chopping off his head now…. You have just decapitated Shia LaBeouf. His head topples to the floor, expressionless. You fall to your knees and catch your breath. You are finally safe from Shia LaBeouf.