*transmission garbles in* *white noise* *sounds of paper shuffling* Ehhh-Uh-lets see here..... Привет! I don't believe I have properly introduced myself to you all! I cannot give you my real name but for now you can just call me "Chelovek," which should mean "The Man" in your language. I am the Radio Officer of the Central Army Command Center of the Russian Armed Forces located in Novaya Zemlya. We are tasked with the command of all of the Russian Armed Forces and we also preform Weapons research and development, with some chemical and nuclear studies as well. I have attached a photo of me above. You see, we are located in a heavily irradiated area what with all the nuclear and chemical testings. I have to wear this suit 24/7. My assistant, Ivan, does as well. He is a bit dim-witted but lovable at times. I hope to get to know you all more, uh.... The higher ups have requested that we open our communications up a bit more...... *a strange, deep, robotic voice takes over* [b]-5-2-4-8-1-9-3-7-4-4-5-6-2-8-2-8-[/b] *mike feedback* *transmission fades out*