You walk in on the Speaker removing his mask. You see that he looks a lot like...
Edit: Trending! People really wanna know what the Speaker looks like.
My favorites so far; Snoop Dogg, Jake from State Farm, John Cena. No Liam Nesson yet?
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And it turns out to be him. For the longest time I hadn't known where he was, my Patience and Time was thinning, my sadness growing from the forever seeming loneliness. But now there he is, standing there, the Hard Light shining on to him, with that musk, that oniony queen breakers musk. My dream had come true, no more Bad Juju, Shrek, was here to reward me and hopefully other guardians for our perseverance against the darkness. With those strong hands he quickly across the room removing the rest of his white robes as I do with my armor and bonds, down to that green leathery skin, all greasy and splotched with mud. And he makes his way across the room, he grabs me with his big ogre hands, and whispers in my ear, "this is my swamp now." Shrek doesn't need an icebreaker. He pushes me onto his desk, the last word he said gets to me, I shed a tear of happiness, the smash mouth song starts to play from the radio next to his crystals. No plan C, it's good to see Shrek sticking with what is best for me and all the guardians. I spread my cheeks for him, I give myself to him, to Shrek. We both have massive necrochasms and goes off. It goes on forever, never seeming to end, it's like a pocket infinity. After he is done stuffing me with his exotic oniony goodness, I look over to realize I wasn't the only guardian to receive such a glorious reward. I feel a powerful sensation of bliss and I say to myself "Shrek is love, Shrek is life." As the next guardian comes to see the Shrek(speaker) to receive rewards, he grabs them and pins them to the wall, and tells them not to worry, "cause it's all ogre now!" His breath warm like a dragons breath. He grabs his big ogre universal remote to prepare another batch of his oniony goodness. All us guardians who have received Shrek's massive gjallarhorn just tell this new HoW guardian to relax . He's a squeaker, but everyone knows Shrek likes the squeakers cause they are young and make a lot of noise. Shrek proceeds to The No Land Beyond in this guardian. "Suros!!!" The guardian shrieked and he clenched his cheeks. Shrek quickly showed this guardian the Truth, and that no can say no to Shrek's love. This guardian eyes and faced relaxed as you could tell he discovered first hand that Shrek's love was the Thorn of a Rose. No longer could this squeaker be invective, he was now a true guardian as Shrek roared like the Lord of Wolves whilst giving this guardian the larger cream filling. We all stared into the night sky at the Hawkmoon, dreaming of what had become of Monte Carlo and why there was only the fourth horseman. What had happened to the others. But as we all looked at each other and as Shrek flew off to become our hero once more, Shrek is love, Shrek is life.