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7/31/2015 12:55:30 PM
22
Me: "Hunny, if you keep messing with me I'm going to stab your butthole with a fork"
Girlfriend: "Are you almost done playing? I'm getting tired"
Me: "No, but don't worry, if you fall asleep I'll have sex with you anyway"
Fireteam: "Bro, there's laws against that you know"
Me: "I'm so tired of that stupid bitch today(Omnigul)"
Girlfriend: "Who the -blam!- are you talking to like that about me?"
Me: "Not you hunny"
Girlfriend: "Whatever. God you're such an asshole"
Fireteam: "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA"
Son: "Hey dad?"
Me: "Yes, son?"
Son: "Can I ask you something?"
Me: "Of course"
Son: "How come hair is growing on my balls?"
Me: "Already? You're 7..."
Fireteam: "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA"
Son: "Can I shave it?"
Fireteam: "Smart kid."
I get tired of talking to myself for minutes at a time before realizing the mic is muted so I stopped muting it. This shit happens all. the. time.
English
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Made someone's gf think he was cussing at her the other day. He was like "BRB gf wants to know something" forgot what they were talking about but while he was I was pushing him towards a ledge and at the last sec he was like "Oh shit I see what you're doing. F you!" Gf's response "excuse me!" Guys response "Oh not you honey I'm talking about this guy in the raid" laughed my ass off.
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Lol that's some funny stuff.
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Your kid is going places
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Omg the gf thing I'm still laughing xDD
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Ehhhh???? O.o
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lol that kid is awesome!
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LMFAO THE LAST ONE
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God damn hair on the balls have me rollin right now.
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The first situation was my fav. Sounds like my fiancé and myself hahaha
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Yeah and I guess I should've clarified she was clearly being playful in other situation too, but it probably was less obvious to the people who couldn't see her wink and blow me a kiss when she said it haha.
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Edited by DEECOATS1974: 7/31/2015 8:19:22 PMLol that's how my husband and I are also. ;)
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In a word: Awesome. :D
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Is there laws against that?
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Technically if the person you are having sex with isn't considered coherent, I.e drunk, asleep, etc., then it's illegal.
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I thought he was just a somnophiliac.
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There are marital -blam!- laws, but she wants the D so as long as she doesn't sleep through the whole thing I doubt she'll press charges haha
