Randal the Vandal and Hank the Shank are riding on a Pike up the highway to Skywatch. Once inside, they walk for a little while, before running into Kings Fallen in the big room.
Randal: "Oh, hey there. I'm just stopping by."
A Dreg speaks: "You shall not pass."
Randal: "Ah, common. Can't an innocent Vandal like me have some fun? We're both Fallen, so it shouldn't matter."
A Captain appears: "Oh yes it should. You filthy Devils are Anarchists. We will not let you defile our home."
Randal puts his lower right hand to his Shock Pistol holstered at his side.
Randal: "Something tells me this won't end well."
The Fallen fire upon Randal and Hank. Hank squeals in fear.
Randal: "Get to cover, you piece of scrap metal!"
Before he can do so, however, a Fallen manages to shoot off one of Hank's wings. Hank loses his balance, and falls to the ground.
Randal: "Goddamn it!" He starts firing at the Kings.
He picks off most of them with one hit kills. Finally, they're all dead. Randal goes to Hank, who is slowly fading.
Randal: "No, no no no... Just hang on a little longer!" He picks up Hank, and straps him to his back.
Randal: "You're lucky I come prepared."
Hank beeps softly.
Soon enough, Randal and Hank reach the clearing between the Terrestrial and Lunar Complexes. Then something taps Randal on the shoulder. He turns to see a Stealth Vandal from the House of Devils pointing a Shock Blade to his neck.
Randal: "Oh, so now my own House has turned on me?"
Vandal: "You have brought that on yourself, scum."
Randal: "By doing what?"
Vandal: "Deserting us, that's what."
Randal sighs: "Well see, about that..." He looks away.
Randal suddenly grabs the Blade out of the Vandal's hands, and slices him across the chest. Ether splatters on the rusted wall. The Vandal drops dead. Randal turns to the clearing to see the Hive and Fallen moving against each other. Randal crouches down, and goes invisible.
Randal: "So glad I went to the Academy, and not the movies that day."
He moves to the Hive Seeder quietly amidst the chaos. He sees a Fallen Ketch with the Wolves symbol on it drop off Fallen. He then passes the loot cave.
Voice: "A million deaths are not enough for Master Rahool..."
Randal shakes his head: "Whatever the hell that means."
Unfortunately, Urzok the Hated and the other Hive hear Randal and turn to him. Urzok roars, and charges at Randal, who decloaks.
Randal: "Ah shit!" He runs to the Seeder.
Once inside, a Knight and an Acolyte appear. Randal runs past them, only to have his path blocked by an Acolyte. Randal headshots it, and keeps going. He reaches the entrance to the Jovian Complex, which is closed. He looks back to see a swarm of Hive coming for him, led by Urzok. Then Randal gets an idea. He moves in front of the door. Urzok strikes with his sword. Randal jumps out of the way, and sure enough, Urzok makes a hole in the door. Randal jumps through it. Right after he does, the Hive kick down the door, and keep moving. Soon, Randal reaches Omnigul's room. She's sitting on the floor reading a Golden Age magazine, and sipping a drink of some sort.
Randal: "Pardon the interruption, m'lady."
Omnigul looks up, and screams. She throws her magazine and drink on the floor in anger.
Urzok and his party arrive. Omnigul screeches something to them. Urzok speaks, seemingly in protest. Omnigul screams, and Urzok and his party cower, and run away.
Randal snickers: "Relationship issues?"
Omnigul screams, and attacks him by herself.
Randal rolls to cover. He turns his head to see the corpse of a Hunter on the floor, her Ghost sitting dead beside her. A Vex Mythoclast sits in her lifeless hands. Randal picks it up.
Randal: "Wonder how this works?"
He aims, and taps the trigger. He feels vibration, but nothing happens.
Randal: "Um, hello?"
He holds the trigger down, and it fires a shot. Omnigul's shield is taken down.
Randal: "Oh hell yes!"
He tries to fire another shot, but nothing happens. He discovers it's empty.
Randal: "Fine, be that way." He throws it to the ground.
He takes out his pistol, and finishes off Omnigul with a few shots. He runs to her corpse, and tears off scraps of her dress. He takes out Hank, who is almost dead. He uses the scraps to bind Hank's lost wing back to him. He turns on, and beeps happily.
Randal: "Hey bud."
Hank says something.
Randal goes, and picks up the magazine Omnigul was reading.
Randal to self: "North West to have a child, plus what his mom Kim looked like back in her days of youth. Oooohhh! She's nice! I'll keep this!"
He turns to Hank: "Common, let's go home. It's been a long day."
They leave, only to see Urzok and his men on the floor in pain. They then all dissolve to ash.
Randal: "Weird."
They leave.
End of Episode 1! Please comment if you want Episode 2! As well, feedback is appreciated!
EDIT: Just as a heads up, I'm not sure how many seasons there will be, but there will be ten episodes per season coming out every Tuesday. Be hyped!
EDIT 2: I just uploaded a long-term community feedback post. Click on #Randal, and it should appear.
EDIT 3: Link to Episode 2: https://www.bungie.net/en-GB/Forum/Post/147561633/0/0