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Destiny

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4/27/2015 10:14:54 PM
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Hello, would you like to talk about our lord and savior Smoggy Pluto

*I knock at your door* *You open the door* Me: "Would you like to talk about our lord and savior Smoggy Pluto?" What do you do?

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  • Nobody knows the story of the vault of glass pioneers. But, that is not the point of this story. It was a stormy day in September. The day we chose to attempt to complete the ultimate challenge of destiny. The vault of glass. We braved through all of the obstacles. We started with the spire, which puzzled us for a time, then the confluxes. The most challenging of all was Atheon. We were stuck on Atheon, and nobody in our fireteam had to go anytime soon. I was the designated relic holder. We eventually exhausted all of your synths, and we were all tired of the experience. "One last attempt." We had Atheon down to half health when suddenly, I heard the crash of thunder outside. "Noooooo!!" I screamed. I prayed to RNGesus with all of my heart, that I wouldn't get disconnected. But it was too late. My screen went dark, and the dreaded red and gray bar appeared. "Contacting destiny servers." It read. "Get good scrub." My team started to panic, because they did not know how to use the relic. When suddenly we saw: SmoggyPluto has joined your fireteam. Yes, there were seven of us, in our fireteam, on the vault of glass. He spawned in with a roar that turned to the sound of laughter. "Not today." My fireteam screaming, overwhelmed by Atheon's blasts. He ran over to my fireteam and popped a bubble that gave us both weapons and blessing of light. I was mesmerized, but I knew I wouldn't last. I was going to disconnect. When, suddenly, SmoggyPluto ran over to me, reached, and pulled the disconnect bar off of my screen and loaded it into his Sleeper Stimulant. He then jumped into the sky, a quadruple Titan jump. He jumped so high, he absorbed the light from the glass, and shot the disconnect bar into Atheon, ripping him apart. Before we got rewards, he urinated over Atheon's dead body, and said "become legend guardian." Smoggy Pluto has left your fireteam. We were all rewarded Vex Mythoclasts. Two arc, two solar, and two void. Smoggy Pluto shall rise again, guardians. Mark my words.

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