I will snap a toothpick in half and shove it deep down your urethra tip first so that when you pee the toothpick starts to work it's way back out towards the open air. The splinters from the break will catch the flesh and start to dig their way into the walls of your urethra, piercing the skin and starting a warm, painful infection. As the swelling begins your ability to go to the bathroom will cease, well not in entirety. An explosive Diarrhea will set in as your body desperately tries to fight the infection and keep your kidneys functioning. Your skin begins to turn orange as bile begins to saturate your flesh. You beg for death but that would be too easy. I am not unkind though, steak, lobster, whatever you want I feed you. The puss builds up in your head until the pressure turns you blind. As you flail about the house incoherently finally the realization hits you: you didn't cover your mouth when you coughed and you got me sick. Writhing in feverish pain and delirium you finally pass violently into the abyss.