"INCOMING WEEBS AT 12 O' CLOCK," I yell to Marco and Sarah. "What? Why?" Sarah asks me. "Someone said the word 'cartoon' and 'anime' in the same sentence," I say. Marcos expression changes from concern to pure fear. "Oh my god," he whispers, as he points towards the distance. An army of blue-haired, sword-wielding fat men are rushing from the forums. They shout out Japanese terms that they memorized from google translate and argue amongst themselves why or why not attack on titans story was good. Some have anime girl body pillows as shields and some dual-wield poorly made replicas of attack on titan swords. "We're dead. It's over." I proclaim, as I lay down my gun on the table. I look out the window at the many thousands of tons of sweat and disappointment changing at me. There was no way the bunker could stop their force. "Wait... Look there!" Sarah points. We look outside and swooping down from the sky, like an angelic warrior, comes a strange looking 40 year old man riding a winged horse- no, a winged pony. He hold out his hand and the Weeb army halts. We watch in silence. Suddenly, a hundred more odd looking men swoop down on their ponies. In one hand they grab their junk and in they other they hold their phones, with various non-canon nude pictures of ponies. "We speak for the cartoons. Go back to Japan." the pony master says. "If we could afford tickets," the fat Weeb leader grumbles, "we wouldn't be here in the United States with all of you filthy Americans." The weebs draw out their weapons, as do the bronies. "Friendship," the pony master says, "is magic." The Weeb tips his fedora, adjusts one of his many chins and proclaims ,"上達します." They charge into gruesome battle. We watch in horror. Ponies shriek and weebs jiggle. Fat spills into the ground and the occasion mid-battle fap session occurs. All is done. The only two that remain are a morbidly obese L cosplayer and someone brandishing Applejack tattoos across their forehead. They fight. L slashes at the ponies legs, but he is too slow. The pony rears and kicks L down. The brony smiles and dismounts his steed, standing over L. He slowly pulls out a well-used plush pony and begins to smother L. I burst out laughing, as does Marco and Sarah. We fall on the floor from laughing so hard. They get up and look at us. The Weeb embarrassingly looks away and scratches his fat rolls, while the brony casually tries to convert me to his cult. Tears stream down my face and into the floor. "THEYRE THE SAME THING." I scream, hysterically laughing. "ANIME AND CARTOONS ARE THE SAME THING." My sides ache and the bewildered look on the two no-life outcasts makes me laugh harder. They turn their separate ways and walk away. Not saying anything, because they know that their pointless struggle is over. They lost. I won.