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Edited by OldManSlippery: 8/28/2015 3:34:23 PMwas your ass forged in mordor cause that shit is precious
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Leslie Nielsen
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High chance the first thing u will say is "you look nothing like your picture"
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You have a girlfriend you never met? Sir, you do not have a girlfriend.
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Show her your dick asap so u can smash asap
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Hello
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Bring along cinnamons, cloves and corrianders. And give it to her. When she asks why, tell her you're finally here to spice up her life. I know it's lame but i'm sure she'll still laugh at it. A good laugh to break the ice at least i guess.
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"I'm Chris Hansen with dateline NBC".....
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Be yourself. If your nervous tell her your nervous. Ask questions and get to know her. Be polite and respectful. Compliments.. Lots of them. But most of all have a good time. If you are having fun most likely she will as well.
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Ask whether or not she does anal. Nothing else I can think of.
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When you meet her, you should say, "I thought you was a 16 year old girl, not a 55 year old man."
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Edited by Gee: 8/28/2015 7:44:05 AMDepends what colours she wears. White - She common - You look disappointing Green - She uncommon - You look *cough* *cough* good Blue - She rare - Very sweet Purple - She legendary - Ooolala Care to join me Yellow - She one of a kind - DAMN! GET OVER HERE! None of these - Get out of my house. Seriously, congratulations!
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Edited by jacobcdo: 8/28/2015 8:27:28 AMSay come over and take of your pants [spoiler]lol[/spoiler]
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"I guess the sun rising this morning is the SECOND most beautiful thing I've seen today." Works every time.
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Actions speak louder than words. Make sure you show up with flowers, be a sweetheart, treat her like a princess and compliment her. you'll be getting some sexy time fo sho ;) -coming from a girl in a long distance relationship too :P
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First things first....actions speak louder then words. Soooo SHOULDER CHARGE HER [spoiler]Women love the bad aggressive boys[/spoiler] [spoiler]Don't actually do that, but good luck mayne. be yo self[/spoiler] [spoiler]Stop opening my spoilers...[/spoiler] [spoiler]stawp it[/spoiler] [spoiler]Senpai...st-sta-stop. Desu[/spoiler]
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Nice! If only the love of my life would notice me.
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Umm you dont look the same in real life
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Edited by JHarv: 8/28/2015 5:16:34 AMYou're dating a girl and calling her the love of your life And you've never met Why do your parents give you access to the Internet. Don't even lie, you're obviously a kid. No adult would claim love at first.... Chat
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Edited by Legend of Jordy: 8/28/2015 8:30:23 PMAre you an angel? Because I had to Fireborn myself back to life just to meet you.
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Say this.. [spoiler]( ͡o ͜ʖ ͡o) Lenny searches for targets... ͡+ ͜ʖ ͡+) Targets marked for annihilation. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) <,︻╦̵̵̿╤─ ҉ - - - - - - - Lenny kills his target. ▕▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔╲┈┈┈ ▕╮╭┻┻╮╭┻┻╮╭▕╮╲┈┈ ▕╯ ┃420┃┃420 ┃╰▕╯╭▏┈ ▕╭┻┻┻┛┗┻┻┛┈▕┈╰▏┈ ▕╰━━━┓┈┈┈╭╮▕╭╮▏┈ ▕╭╮╰┳┳┳┳╯╰╯▕╰╯▏┈ ▕╯ ┗┛┗┛┈╭╮▕╮┈▏┈ Aye aye captain... Swiggity ∧_∧ ( ̄3 ̄) ⊂ ⊂ ) ( ( ( (_(_) Swooty ∧_∧ ( ̄3 ̄) ( U つ ) ) ) (_)_) I'm ∧_∧ ( ̄3 ̄) ⊂_へ つ (_)| 彡 (_) Coming ∧_∧ ( -_- )っ (っ / Lノ┘ For that ∧___∧ ⊂( -_ - ) ヽ ⊂二/ (⌒) / Booty! / \ | 。 。 | \ ___ \(•_•) ( (> your leaving? / \ (•_•) <) )/ well / \ \(•_•) ( (> then / \ (•_•) <) )> bye / \ \(•_•) ( (> so I'm like / \ (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻ FLIP THAT TABLE. ┻━┻ ︵ ヽ(°□°ヽ) FLIP THIS TABLE. ┻━┻ ︵ \(`0`)// ︵ ┻━┻ FLIP ALL THE TABLES ಠ_ಠ Child. . . ಠ_ಠ Put. ಠ__ಠ The tables. ಠ___ಠ Back. (╮°-°)╮┳━┳ (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻ NEVER (•_•) <) )╯because I'm / \ ⊂_ヽ \\ _ \( •_•) 2 < ⌒ヽ F / へ\ A / / \\ B レ ノ ヽ_つ 4 / / Y / /| O ( (ヽ U | |、\ | 丿 \ ⌒) | | ) / `ノ ) Lノ (_/ (╯ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)╯︵ ( ͜。 ͡ʖ ͜。) ┳┻| ┻┳| ┳┻| ┻┳| ┳┻| ┻┳| THIS ┳┻| ┻┳| IS ┳┻| ┻┳| ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ┳┻| ┻┳| (⌐■ ͜ʖ ■) _ノ ヽ ノ \_ `/ `/ ⌒Y⌒ Y ヽ ( (三ヽ人 / | | ノ⌒\  ̄ ̄ヽ ノ ヽ___>、___/ |( 王 ノ〈 /ミ`ー―彡\ / ヽ_/ \ ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)つ──☆: ・゚ ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) / ノ) ) ヽ / | ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)ノ⌒(ゝ.,ノ / ノ⌒7⌒ヽーく \ / 丶_ ノ 。 ノ、 。|/ `ヽ `ー-’人`ーノ 丶  ̄ _人’彡ノGONNA LIFT THAT BOOTY BBY ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Just ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ⌐■-■ Got (⌐■ ͜ʖ ■) __________________ | Krusty | | Krab | | Unfair | |_________________| (\__/) || (• - •) || / う __________________ | Mr. Krabs | | Is in | | There | |_________________| (\__/) || (• - •) || / う __________________ | Standing | | At the | | Concession | |_________________| (\__/) || (• - •) || / う __________________ | Plotting | | His | | Oppression | |_________________| (\__/) || (• - •) || / う ▕▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔╲ ▕╮╭┻┻╮╭┻┻╮╭▕╮╲ ▕╯┃╭╮┃┃╭╮┃╰▕╯╭▏ ▕╭┻┻┻┛┗┻┻┛┈▕┈╰▏ ▕╰━━━┓┈┈┈╭╮▕╭╮▏ ▕╭╮╰┳┳┳┳╯╰╯▕╰╯▏ Can you feel it now Mr. Krabs? ╚═( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)═╝ ╚═(███)═╝ ╚═(███)═╝ .╚═(███)═╝ ..╚═(███)═╝ …╚═(███)═╝ …╚═(███)═╝ ..╚═(███)═╝ .╚═(███)═╝ ╚═(███)═╝ .╚═(███)═╝ ..╚═(███)═╝ …╚═(███)═╝ …╚═(███)═╝ …..╚(███)╝ ……╚(██)╝ ………(█) ……….* [/spoiler]
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I thought I was the love of your life;~; [i]~About Me[/i]
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I always go with tits or GTFO, it's not really original but it worked on my now wife.
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Hi, might help. I have been through four loves of my life I'm now looking for number five.
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Buy a bag of peanuts and toss them at her and say "have my nuts"
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*How you doin'* Joey style!