We got here several days ago. We were developing a teleportation device that manipulated dark matter to teleport anything that we wished. The device malfunctioned during testing and opened a hole through space-time, transporting our base to this planet. I tried to buy some dark matter from a dealer to power it but some dumb bitch stalled me, which allowed it to deteriorate rapidly. To make matters worse, what samples we could use were stolen by some dickheads, who tried to pay us back with some of their own samples of dark matter. The dark matter they sent us wasn't compatible with the teleporter so we used it to power, well, me. Sorry, but I don't think there is any other way to get back to Earth.