Excuse me... ALL the beautiful women praise my neckbeard. AND my fedora. In fact, so many women love them both, they ALL tell me I'm their friend. I have so many more women friends than YOU. My only problem is, we are such good friends, we have all decided not to date in fear of losing our friendship. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go upstairs to take my mom out. It's bingo night!

loooooool I sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners. People say to me that a person being a helicopter is Impossible and I’m -blam!-ing retarded but I don’t care, I’m beautiful. I’m having a plastic surgeon install rotary blades, 30 mm cannons and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me “Apache” and respect my right to kill from above and kill needlessly. If you can’t accept me you’re a heliphobe and need to check your vehicle privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.