Way out west there was this fella... fella I wanna tell ya about. Fella by the name of Ira-bunghole. At least that was the handle his loving parents gave him, but he never had much use for it himself. Mr. Ira-bunghole, he called himself "Smoggypluto". Now, "Smoggypluto" - that's a name no one would self-apply where I come from. But then there was a lot about Smoggypluto that didn't make a whole lot of sense. And a lot about where he lived, likewise. But then again, maybe that's why I found the place so darned interestin'. They call the Tower the "City Of Guardians." I didn't find it to be that, exactly. But I'll allow there are some nice folks there. 'Course I can't say I've seen London, and I ain't never been to France. And I ain't never seen no queen in her damned undies, so the feller says. But I'll tell you what - after seeing the Tower, and this here story I'm about to unfold, well, I guess I seen somethin' every bit as stupefyin' as you'd see in any of them other places. And in English, too. So I can die with a smile on my face, without feelin' like the good Lord Shaxx gypped me. Now this here story I'm about to unfold took place back in the early '14's - just about the time of our conflict with Sad'm and the I-raqis. I only mention it because sometimes there's a man... I won't say a hero, 'cause, what's a hero? But sometimes, there's a man. And I'm talkin' about Smoggypluto here. Sometimes, there's a man, well, he's the man for his time and place. He fits right in there. And that's Smoggypluto, in the Tower. And even if he's a lazy man - and Smoggypluto was most certainly that. Quite possibly the laziest in the Tower, which would place him high in the runnin' for laziest guardian galaxy wide. But sometimes there's a man, sometimes, there's a man. Aw. I lost my train of thought here. But... aw, hell. I've done introduced him enough. Smoggypluto.