The mafia want me dead because I stole all their sharp tools, but because they have no sharp tools, they can't do the customary decapitation of a horse and then place the horses head in my bed, so they decided to just use an entire horse hoping it's weight would crush me, but as it turns out they forgot to kill the horse first. and no, I don't know how several gangsters got the horse up the stairs, do I have to explain EVERYTHING?" true story.