Do you want me to cry? Because I'll cry. Just for you. Not because you're making an awful attempt at insulting me, but because it will make you happy. You can use the tears for whatever you please. You want to use the salt from them to cure meat? Go on ahead. You want to keep them in a jar and have them nestled in between your sweet, sweet buns for good luck? They're yours. They say the tears of your enemies taste delicious, and I will go the extra mile to make them taste even better by preparing them in a nice hoisin sauce. You can take that tasty treat and put it on whatever you like. From tater tots to gum drops, my tears are your key to a better life.