I agree with what you've said, but I also don't think that people without 3300+ grimoire should be judged for not wanting to take a shitload of time to go back through and find every ghost and make sure to kill every unique boss( such as the HoW ones) just so people think they're pro. I'm decent at this game because I can learn and understand tactics and boss fights and am fairly decent at consistently shooting with precision in PVE, so when someone doesn't add me cuz my grimoire is only in the 2800s it's super annoying. Running around for hours just to find dead ghosts and being meticulously obsessive about the grimoire is just the system Bungie wants to further develop their fanaticism and addicted hardcore audience, which is fine, but I still don't think other people should be looked down upon because they don't want to spend the time looking up every location and thing just to get max grimoire.
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