Tired of being a ball-less person? Afraid that she's actually a crossdressing man? Are you fed up with this world? Well, fear no more, with the Spoderman approved home guide on growing a pair of your very own testicles! [b]1.[/b] Buy a pair of testicle seeds. Since their sale is illegal everywhere but Nigeria, you'll have to browse the deep web in search for a good website. Quality testicle seeds are usually around $420, and are raisin-sized. [b]2.[/b] Plant the seeds in a sunny, grassy area. Water it with liquified porn magazines daily, and in a few weeks, a purple sprout will emerge, encompassing a scrotum with fully grown testicles! [b]3.[/b] Draw a summoning circle in the shape of a pentagram with the blood of your childhood bully, and place a slain baby goat and the testicles in the center. Get on your knees and read aloud erotic fanfiction involving Destiny's ghost and the Queen's brother; after about 6 minutes, the baby goat will transform into a computer playing hardcore BDSM incest porn, and the testicles will magically float towards your crotch, attaching themselves. [b]4.[/b] Go for it. If she says yes, then congratulations. If she says no, then that's it. Don't feel crushed or defeated by it, and accept it without any irrational decisions. Good luck to you.