[i]The following is a true story.[/i] So it was the week after Halloween weekend. It was my senior year in high school. My friends and I showed up to this girl's house. She was having a party. We never got the memo that it was a costume party despite being the weekend after Halloween weekend but whatever. Some of my friends tried the whole "do weird shit to your clothes so it looks like you tried to wear a costume but just failed," thing but they just looked like idiots. We show up, no one really says anything. Let it be known, we only knew about this party because one of my friends went to the same school as the hostess. No one else knew her. We start off the night by talking to and drinking with people we don't know. Then we go and play beer pong. My friend takes off his sweatshirt and tosses it in the corner because shit is about to get serious. We get the other guys down to one cup left. My friend shoots and misses but gets the ball back. Now he has to shoot it behind the back. He shoots it and it circles around the cup about 4 or 5 times before flying out. He's ecstatic. "That should have gone in! No way!" We end up winning shortly after. A while later, another friend of mine and I meet this cute blonde chick and both start hitting on her. Somehow we all end up in this giant chair together in the corner. My friend and I are both competing for this girl's attention. We all 3 exchanged numbers but eventually I gave up and decided to let my friend have her. After a few minutes they're in the chair making out. Eventually she gets up and leaves. Then about 10 seconds later my friend turns to the corner and pukes. Luckily it's loud and dark so no one really noticed. Another friend of mine took him outside (Yes, there's a lot of us there. We basically crashed this party). He drives the wasted friend home in the wasted friend's car. I'm still at the party. While all that other BS was going on I somehow talked this girl friend of mine to going into the bathroom with me (I'm pretty drunk at this point). Next thing I know I'm up against the wall with my pants down and she's on her knees. There was a line when we came out. Ooops. Luckily we don't really know anyone there other than my close friends. The hostess decided to pick up some of the trash on the ground. One of my friends picked up a couple of cans and handed them to her. "Thanks... Who the hell are you? Get the -blam!- out of my house!" (What a way to say thanks). He gets kicked out. She starts going around and kicking out my other friends. When she approaches me she says, "You need to leave." I ask why and she says it's because she doesn't know me. I walk up to a guy I was talking with earlier and put my arm around him. "Nah nah I'm Matt's friend!" (Somehow I remembered his name... I'm horrible with names). "Yeah! We've known each other since kindergarten!" Matt said. [i]What a way to cover a bro![/i] "Okay, whatever," and she leaves me alone. Now it's just me and about two other friends left at the party. Everyone else has left one way or another. Me and my best friend go up to these girl and start talking to them. The only one that bites is the least attractive of the bunch. Meh, okay I'll give it a try. I don't remember what I said but I remember her pulling off my shirt and we started making out against a wall. [b]MUSTACHE![/b] The 'stache was strong with this one. Wanted to gag. Luckily my friend runs downstairs shortly after we started making out and grabs me and says, "Dude, we gotta go, cops!" I find my shirt and put it back on (backwards). We bolt out the back door with a few other people. I kid you not there are drunk girls no taller than 5'5" hopping 8' fences. No idea how they managed that. A cop car pulls up and everyone scatters. I got separated from my friends. As luck would have it my friend who left to drive my drunk friend who puked home pulls up still in the other guy's car and I hop in and we speed away. "Dude." "Dude you still have Jack's car!? Hahaha!" "Yeah! I drove him home and his drunk ass told me to keep his car. So I did! We were driving down the street and Jack opened the door while we were doing 60 and threw up out of the door! I ended up finding a can of sprite for him before we left the party." I look to my left at the drink holder and see the can of Sprite... Wait... Is it? Is it upside down? Apparently my friend's drunk ass put the can back in the cup holder upside down. He now had two mini pools of Sprite in both of the cup holders. My friend and I lost our shit laughing at that. We went to the McDonalds that was open 24/7 and got some late night munchies before he drove me home and then kept my friend's car. My other friends made it back to their car and got away from the police just fine. The next day, my friend sees a tweet from the hostess of the party. It said something along the lines of, "Whoever threw up in the corner of my basement is disgusting!" We a found that funny (yeah we felt a little bad because we technically weren't even invited to that girl's house to begin with, but whatever). My friend was complaining that he couldn't find his brand new sweatshirt that he wore to the party. The friend who threw up had to break the news to him that he did in fact vomit all over it at the party. So yeah, that was a fun night. [spoiler]FlapjacksNsyrup does not condone the actions committed in the story above nor does he admit to partaking in any of said actions. This is a piece of literature and a work of art protected by the first amendment of the U.S. constitution. Also, no animals were harmed. [/spoiler]