I read your post and immediately said to myself, i'm going to sit right down and tell this motherfcker exactly how i eat my motherfcking steel cut oatz.
i make a gigantic fcking batch every four days. When im done i have an enormous bowl of steel cut oatz and at this point i generally take the first few feet of my cock out of my pants and fap because the sight is beautiful.
every morning i take a goodly portion of that fcking pond of glory and i pour vanilla fcking soymilk in the fcking bowl with the fcking oatz and i put them in the microwave where i picture them fcking while they heat up.
i've now got a bowl of hot oatz and an infallibly rigid dick but i am not done motherfcker and it is not yet time to eat.
i reach around behind me and grab my nuts from the cupboard and sprinkle a bunch of walnuts into the fcking bowl. I grab my raisins and i shake my raisins into that fcking bowl, i grab my prunes and i lay my prunes into that fcking bowl, and i grab my fcking naked banana and i layer it into that fcking bowl.
At this point i collapse onto the floor and fck a new hole into the hardwood of my kitchen because i just can't fcking stand my gorgeous fcking oatz, then i stand up and i eat that fcking bowl, the whole fcking thing including the bowl itself, without any utensils and then i go throw myself at the sex doll i have dressed up like the quaker oatz guy and i literally fck it until my neighbors call the cops.
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