It was cold and dark outside one night, and I was driving around town looking for a McDonald's. I really wanted a burger. After many hours of searching, I finally came upon one. I walked in, and slammed my two dollars on the table, when all of a sudden, the guy tells me I'm one cent short. I slump to the ground in defeat, but in the midst of my pain, one man rose above the rest to answer my prayer. ASMITH gave me the one penny that changed my life forever. Couldn't find the TV remote one time, but ol' ASMITH had my back. When we couldn't kill Oryx, ASMITH brought weapons of light. ASMITH was given an xbox controller one time. He touched it, turned it into solid gold, and gave it to a poor mentally challenged kid from Somalia. I was under attack by a pack of wolves. They tried to kill me. ASMITH beat them to death and ate their bodies. When I lost my virginity, I forgot the condom. [b]ASMITH brought me my Trojans in my time of need[/b]. Motherf***er is a hero. A saint. He's a weapon of mass destruction. If anyone deserves that gun, it's ASMITH.