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Edited by MrsPlatinumOG :
10/26/2015 5:26:36 PM
77
So 72 virgins
When you die and go to heaven. This is if you hypothetically are muslim and is a suicide bomber. Such a silly thing to tell followers of a "religion." Well they apparently need a motive to look forward to, accomplishing a common goal.
Anyways, I can get into the fabrication of that but for offtopic my real question.
72 virgins or would you rather have 72 whores?
Sidenote: would you really want to teach 72 woman to have sex or have woman please you and know what they're doing. Plus if you catch anything you're in heaven right, no diseases would effect you there. Also eh virgins would be heaven for most. Okay those were my thoughts. A shitpost, I think not!
Let's hear your answers and thoughts.
Edit: people wonder why this isn't a poll. I wanted to make the answers open-ended meaning every comedian on the planet had to have joked about the 72 virgins one time. lol. I actually wanted to hear some funny responses and honest ones.
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9 RepliesA jihadist died and approached the gates of heaven. At the Pearly Gates stood George Washington. With a quick slap slap across the face George exclaimed, "How dare you try to destroy the Nation I helped conceive?" Patrick Henry approached, punched him in the nose and shouted, "You wanted to end our liberties but you failed." James Madison followed, kicked him in the groin and said, "This is why I allowed our government to provide for the common defense!" Thomas Jefferson was next, beat the man with a long cane and snarled, "It was evil men like you who inspired me to write the Declaration of Independence." The beatings and thrashings continued as George Mason, James Monroe and 66 other early Americans unleashed their anger upon the man. As he lay bleeding and in pain, an Angel appeared. The man wept and said, "I have served Allah in life and death, yet this is how I am welcomed into heaven? This is not what was promised me." The Angel replied, "What are you whining about? We told you there would be 72 Virginians waiting for you in Heaven. What were you expecting?"
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Did I already respond to this?
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1 ReplyMuslim males are brought up with a sense of ownership that brings in their first 'right' at taking a woman's virginity.
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2 RepliesIf I would be a Muslim man I'd rather have 72 whores who know what the hell they're doing.
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Why 72? Why not 69 ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
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1 ReplyAllah Akbar
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72 high class porn stars, they got experience
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But maybe the virgins are males because they didn't said witch gender so i am happy that i am not going to muslim heaven with my 72 perverts man
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Muslim males want virgins because muslim males believe man are superior and women are not even equal to goats. Only virgins are good enough for them, barely.
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Where do the virgins even come from lol?
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Imma have me 72 whores. Who wants to teach 72 women not to tooth-scrape? *shudders*
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And this is why [b][i]fundamentalists[/i][/b] in any religion pose a problem
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Suicide Bombers have been brainwashed to think that virgins are the best thing ever, without even knowing what virgins are.
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Like Obama said: why would you kill yourself to not get 72 virgins when you can just go to Las Vegas?
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3 RepliesI thought virgin just meant young women
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72 virgins. I'd want a virgin while alive, so might as well get 71 more of them.
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Give me 72 of the rarest pepes so that I can release them unto the commoners of Earth every five years, thus starting a PePe religion.
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I'd rather go to hell then spend eternity with 72 neckbeards.
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15 RepliesPlot twist: all of the virgins are guys and heaven is really just a massive Magic: The Gathering convention.
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72 whores is just not appealing to anyone. You might as well say heaven will have 72 saggy tit, used flappy-twat, ugly whores, who reek of cigarettes, shitty perfume, and have terrible make up. Not to mention a strong cunnty vibe. It doesn't really sell that well haha.
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Id get the whøres
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1 ReplyCan I just have one? I don't want 71 people just hanging around my heaven room or whatever. I'd like one virgin and 71 house cats or something
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Why not a good split. Experiance levels ranging from virgin to OP's mom
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2 Replies72 hoes.
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1 Reply72 of the craziest sluts around. I want some crazy shit, like wearing a batman suit while hanging myself drenched in sunblock while one of these broads are sucking toes.
