Yeah there's no doubt that there are many toxic little douche out there that are wholly deserving of a good slap up the side of the head.
Fortunately there are also many decent folk playing too, it's just about finding them.
I held off raiding for a long time, partly as I was waiting for some friends to level up (which I got bored of doing eventually) and partly as I couldn't be bothered going in with a bunch of randoms and experiencing exactly what you described.
In the end I went to www.the100.i, joined a few groups and I can't recommend it enough. On my very first raid I was in with guys who were friendly, funny and most of all very patient in explaining the mechanics.
-blam!- the self-important little kids that are all to numerous these days, there are good folk out the who make the game worthwhile.
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