To whomever necrobumped this: May all the items you microwave be cold in the center. May all your headphones have only one working side/earpiece. May the vowel keys on your keyboard stop working. May your TVs be forever slightly off color. May your shoes always come untied 10 minutes after putting them on. May your radios only play stations that are half static. May your sleep be forever restless. May someone who did not wash their hands always prepare your food. May you walk across legos when you get out of bed. May your cookie fall to the bottom of your glass of milk. May the snooze button on your alarm never work. May you always be a penny short when paying with cash. May your fries forever come out cold with no salt.