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10/29/2015 4:04:44 PM
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The 6 members of my Oryx HM team

[u]The Fearless Leader[/u] Calls the shots and runs the most difficult parts. Dies often in area's he should not and always quick with an excuse for his deaths. No problem calling out others on their deaths though, rather verbally I might add. Example " How do you die on the easiest part (the bombs), quit dying scrub", next round dies on bombs. Nobody says a word as no words are needed. Still a great player. [u]The lagger[/u] A good secondary leader (possibly better primary). Older than the others by a year with some semblance of responsibility. Good player but has a large family, wireless connection, and poor internet speed. We run flawlessly at the start only to have him lag out halfway through or gift us with his lag. Quick to say "I'm not lagging you guys are lagging". Check team connection, he has red bar. Wipe consistently for hours due to lag issues cause by his connection. [u]The boyfriends[/u] Constantly arguing and bickering among themselves. Comms are often filled with their chatter throughout the run. Tell them to shut up but it's like everyone else is muted to them. It never stops. I've taken it as a form of subtle flirting. Personal comments from me to them include: "Can you guys quit flirting for 2 seconds so we can get this done", "Would you guys just kiss already", and "The boyfriends are at it again". Typical responses: " Aww naww, you didn't just say that", What is wrong with you Jemiles, you drunk", "What have you been smoking", and "You're really messed up, you know that". Typically gives us a few moments of silence though. [u]The South American[/u] Can be difficult to understand at times. On the phone quite often during runs, usually resulting in his eventual death halfway through a run. "Sorry sorry" he says, can hear his phone conversation continuing faintly in the background. Eventually we are met with, "sorry guys, I have to go take my mom to the store". [u]Me[/u] Eventually get tired of the useless banter and break my usual silence to interject with a stern talking to all of them about their scrubbyness. "Who is that pulling out the father voice?" they ask. "I said shut up and clear comms, get your heads in the game and start acting like the young adults you are." I reply. Comms go silent. Leader chimes in, "Let's go". Flawless run to the shade ensues, oryx at 1/4 health! Someone dies, don't stop we can do this. Laggers lag kicks in, "I can't get the relic". Wipe. Comms go back to being cluttered with everyone blaming one another again. Select, leave fireteam, quit game, watch netflix.

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