The Bible nowadays is complete garbage!
Let's rewrite it into the ultimate bible, stuffed with all that danky guudness!
[i]At first there was Shrek. Then Shrek made the Internet, with all the edgy 4chan forums, the cringy bronies and the peaceful Wikipedia. Shrek stayed in the Wikipedia, but got really bored so he made Lenny and out of Lenny he made Pepe.
It was a fine day but an asshole from 4chan came along, he seemed to resemble the form of a fat guy with a neckbeard and a fedora. "If you edit the fourth paragraph, you'll be a fully formed meme!" The 4chan neckbeard said. "Oh, ok, neat." So Lenny and Pepe edited the fourth paragraph and Shrek got butthurt so he kicked them out of Wikipedia.[/i]
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Song of Solomon was original dank. It's a whole book of the Old Testament written about sex.