It's just tuff some times man. I fell like shit most of the time. But it comes and goes. I had a tbi (tramatic brain injury) when I was 12 and had real frustrated anger issues but I'm 24 now and I'm prolly the calmest person you would know. I learned to over come it. I know it's not the same but my memory is sht but I think I used to want to end it to. But I don't know what it is but sometimes I think I'm depressed to but it does not feel like it. I just don't know