[quote]Life is like a lettuce: Sometimes it is green and crunchy, sometimes dad stabs the cat with a knife because his foot ball team lose again Life is like a lettuce: sometimes it is green and round, and sometimes mom wish you were never born If you throw a lettuce in the air he will alway come right back down to you because he is lonely without you. If there is a fire in your house make sure you save all the lettuces before you even think about finding your children A lettuce does not wear a watch but he always have time for you Instead of drinking coffee in the morning try laying down with a lettuce on your stomach and you will be wide awake trust me If you push a lettuce under water he will alway float right back up to the top because he miss you so much A lettuce does not have ears but that does not mean that he is immune to your lies Some time you think about a lettuce and you get so excited that forget to go to sleep again for five days Sometimes you hate your life and dont want to be alive anymore but then you think about lettuce and know that everything will be ok You can paint a lettuce green but that is a waste of paint because he is already green you idiot If you run out of pillows maybe try using a lettuce You can tell a lettuce has gone bad if he is wearing a leather jacket if you are sad put a lettuce in your back pack and carry him every where so it feel like you have a friend that want to spend time with you A lettuce is so pretty but you are real ugly You can ask a lettuce for financial advice but he will not say any thing because he is a lettuce You can put a lettuce on the hood of your car. People will not under stand what you are doing but at least you are doing some thing If you put plastic eyeballs on a lettuce and take him to the movies it might feel like you have a friend I hate my life Dr. Suess did not ever make a poem about lettuce And now he is dead A lettuce can not get pregnant believe me I tried You can put a lettuce in a baby carriage amd take him for a walk and people will say "who this" and you can say "he is my cabbaby" If you want to trick your parents put a lettuce on your pillow at night and they will think you are sleeping but you are actually crying[/quote] Fixed