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originally posted in: Bored and need a joke
11/16/2015 4:00:03 AM
4
The Traveler was actually a prank pulled by Golden-age scientists: 1) they found a way to Terra Form worlds. 2) they invented ghosts from smart matter, and thoughtful light. 3) the Traveler was just a giant rocket propelled gumball machine, built in space and brought to Earth, to celebrate their brilliance. 4) the Fallen love gum, and they ran out. They want ours. 5) the Hive hate gum: Crota's mom choked on gum:( 6) the Vex don't understand the "point" of gum. 7) the Cabal's emperor told his legions, "Bring that gum home, or don't bother coming home at all!" 8) Rasputin was terrified of what would happen if all that gum got stuck in his circuits, so he blew it up preemptively. 9) Osiris went mad trying to calculate precisely how many gumballs could fit inside the "Traveler." 10) Toland followed the Hive to find the perfect melody to compose his masterpiece: "An Ode to the Hive-killing Gum Machine." 11) The Speaker's distracting everyone with war, so he can keep all the gum to himself. And that's all you have to know about the traveler!
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