Welcome back to another week of Saber News Stories. Last week we spoke about the reoccurring plague of one shot body shot snipers making crucible unbearable especially Trials of Osiris. We also had a fellow Guardian and friend of mine help present to you a product for those of you who hunt. The Nightstalker 1500 Compound Bow, although we had to cut the segment short due to an unforeseen incident with Tony. Good news is that Tony is fine and back in the office today. Well this week we will be talking about the successful yet unsuccessful Iron Banner. Also we have another new product that is sure to BRIGHTEN your day. [b]Clash of the Iron Banner[/b] This past week Iron Banner made its monthly return but with some major changes. First off the big one was that instead of the usual Control we all have known it to be, it was turned into Clash. Many Guardians were not very thrilled about this for fear that it would turn into a camp snipe fest to which it did. There was also an increased amount of shotgunning as well but that should soon change with the December Update. Something we will speak about when the update arrives. Other changes were the rewards system, Guardians received packages at rank three and five as well as high level weapons and armor at rank five. And my tiny little nipples went to France… what the hell…Ok Tony very funny now quit messing with the Prompter. [i](Tony laughing in background)[/i] The big talk in how Iron Banner was slightly successful was Guardians receiving the Helmets which look really awesome. Unfortunately I did not get the Titan Helmet which I really wanted because hell who wouldn’t want to look like a Medieval Knight. I did receive a 310 chest piece however so it wasn’t a total disappointment I guess. Many Guardians want the next Iron Banner to return to its normal Control to which I agree. Also I am a tiny little Titan who panic supers everywhere I go killing nothing in my…. Oh for the love of… Tony I told you to stop messing with the prompter. Don’t make me put a third hole in your ass… [b](Tony) hahaha that’s what you get for shooting me in the ass with an arrow… I mean look at me I have to use a friggin doughnut for a month… do you realize how uncomfortable it is to sit and shit. [/b] You have been well compensated out of my own damn pocket so shut it. Alright well now onto a segment that’s sure to BRIGHTEN your day… and hopefully mine [b]Shed a Little Light on the Subject [/b] Are you afraid of the Dark or too cheap to pay your electricity bill? Do you just want to enjoy a nice little outdoor family fun at night but don’t have enough light? Well this week’s product is something that will help everyone in dark times by lighting things up. Here we have the Sunsinger Light Generator currently still in its prototype stage so the name is not official yet. This two foot tall cylinder glows bright orange like the Sun illuminating an area of about eight to ten square feet. Sounds like nothing more than a simple lamp you might say, well simple lamps don’t have a feature that releases eight Super Bright Orbs from its core. These Orbs produce no heat but are just as bright if not brighter than the lamp itself. The lamp releases the Orbs into the air where Anti-Gravity technology keeps them floating in an area the equivalent of a standard sized backyard. Each Orb can shine for approximately six hours and since they recharge in the lamp which actually self-charges itself using the light that it produces you never have to worry about wasting electricity to charge these babies. Damn that’s a hell-of-a deal. These bad boys also come with a voice activation device so you can simply say “Lamp on” or as I like to say “Flame on” hehehe. This means no more stubbing your toe in the middle of the night while going to piss or getting a late night snack. You can also control how many Orbs get sent out as well. Final models should be out for sale come Christmas time with a decent price tag that shouldn’t Burn a hole in your pocket. Retail price is currently at $39.99. Please keep Orbs away from any Ghosts, Shanks, or Shriekers. Well there you have it a product sure to Brighten your day or night up. Well that’s all we have for this week’s news segment but we will leave you with a few announcements before we go. Our first one is the December Weapons Tuning Update, how will it fare nobody is sure but speculation says people will not be very thrilled especially shotgunners. The next announcement is over the new Refer-A-Friend system that rewards you for referring people to play destiny but only if you get people who do not have destiny to play. We see backlash out the ass coming from this, we will keep you updated as more information becomes available. Our final announcement is, do you enjoy reading forum posts like this? Well join our group the Saber News Group where members can convene and create their own ideas such as this and we will help you so you can create good and funny topics. Just use the #SaberNews tag and if you have trouble finding us feel free to contact me. Also as always don’t forget to check out our elder brother station the Unofficial Weekly Update anchored by MurdiusMaximus every Thursday. Remember you heard it first from your friendly neighborhood Sabertooth Tiger. Have a happy Thanksgiving everyone. And here is a little clip that should make you laugh and maybe do a backflip. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=73fjxT2lp4U