*Be 315 Light *Really need some 320 exotics *Out of Three of Coins *Decide to solo Nightfall *Trudge through annoying ads *Reach Boss *.04% Health *Hopes high *Only one more bullet *Error code: Weasel *... *Smash Xbox/Playstation *Wipe hands clean *Decide to see a movie *Go to theater *Speak to lady at counter: "Hey there, cutie. I'd like a ticket for one adult to see the greatest movie of all time." *Rejected *Tickets for Star Wars: Episode VII - The Force Awakens sold out *Walk away in disappointment *#Worstdayever *Spot hooded guy in alleyway: "Psst." *Sells Star Wars tickets for 50 bucks *Buy and walk away smooth *Examine ticket *It's a McDonald's receipt *Turn around to confront hooded guy *Gone *Walk over to nearby trashcan *About to throw out receipt *See strange markings on backside *Upon further inspection: Be a treasure map *Decide to take a risk *Spontaneous adventure *Sell house and belongings *Buy boat *Assemble ragtag crew *Preparations finally ready *In best Arnold Schwarzenegger impression: "Avast, ye barnacle lovers! We be a'headed off! The booty, she be a'calling! Agh." *Begin voyage *Sail the Caribbean *Insert pirate-y montage here *3 years later *No food or water *Tensions high *Mutiny *Tied up and thrown overboard *Sinking into the depths *Swimming with the fishes *Black out *... *Startling awakening on beach *Notice pod of dolphins swimming off into the distance *Slow nod *Turn gaze inland *Realize on a deserted island *Day-light waning *Decide to head into jungle to find refuge *Stumble across pig-head on a stake *"Dang Hunters." *Continue on *Find eerie cave *Take shelter *Build fire *As flames flicker, notice shadow in corner *Investigate *Find human skeleton wearing eye-patch *"I've got you now, One-Eyed Willy!" *Kick remains to the side *Reveal "X" marking on the ground *Adrenaline pumping *Claw through the dirt with bare hands *Hours pass *Can hardly feel arms anymore *Bump into something solid *Use remaining strength to pull *Treasure chest! *Wipes sweat from brow *Slowly cracks open the lid *Immense light glowing *Angel chorus *... *290 Ghost