I'm the priest. It's simple: do not leave this post without confessing a wrongdoing you have done in your life.
The Ha-Ha Tank forgives you.
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I once masturbated 20 times in a single day. Last night I slept with a girl but didn't have sex. I suffered several concussions as a child that potentially changed my entire personality each time, forming who I am today. I once almost spent $800 on a piece of cardboard. I like having my ass slapped, yet I am a straight male. I like it when people run their fingers through my hair or touch my beard/stubble, depending on what I have at the time. I would sooner take up an offer to cuddle than get a blowjob. I have had sex dreams about every female in my year at school, several times each.