Hi, my name is Claire I'm I guardian of the traveler. Well I was... I was sent on mission on Mars, I was going to set up some beacons for the council of the storm (the council of the storm is a council of storm callers dedicated to finding the truth behind the collapse ). What I found puzzled me.
A dead ghost, killed by its guardian a fate no ghost should suffer. I took to analyze the data after my mission. After my mission and analysis, I found a message and coordinates, "I'm on to something. Something ground breaking, because what if I said the traveler isn't as bright as we think." .
The coordinates took me back to the archive in the Ishtar Sink, there I saw a guardian, a warlock. He asked if I was the one who picked up his message. I nodded, he said "The elenski once had the traveler, but it left them after making a collapse like we had. But most of their memory of that event were wiped out, so why hasn't the traveler tried to do it to us?" As much as I hated it, he was right. So I replied stupidly suggesting to tell the vanguard "we most notify the vanguard about thi-" he interrupted me with "we shouldn't, that would put us in big trouble, we could have our memory or thought of this "heresy" instantly." I obviously had to choose a side so I obviously strayed from my so called righteous path as a guardian of the traveler.
End phase 1
[spoiler]I'm open to constructive criticism so criticize if you want[/spoiler]
[spoiler]Chapter 2 is out[/spoiler]
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.. I like it, keep it up. Best way to get better is practice!
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Chapter 1 is overrated so i prefer or whatever.
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It'd be better if you cleaned it up little and added some spacing. You've got a bunch of stray/missing punctuation, extra spaces, broken sentences, etc. Having everything as 1 big wall of text makes it pretty difficult to read too. Interesting story idea though, I'd like to read more...
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Paragraphs would make it better.
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Awesome!! :3