Warning: This is PG-13. And very weird. I feel downright terrible for having concocted this huge pile of shit. Anyways. Viewer discretion is advised. [spoiler]That said, yeah it's weird. But stick with me, it'll all be ok in the end. [/spoiler] Narrator: "Bladedancer Xxx420MLGxxX was out on a fair-weathered Saturday, grocery shopping for his daily lunch- primary ammo synthesis, in the Eververse Grocery Store. Upon selecting a package of primary ammo synthesis that was on a Silver Sale, he stored it in his Peter Dinklage and proceeded to checkout.There, Xxx420MLGxxX noticed a new employee. Waiting for him at the cashier, separated by only a human named Martin followed in line by an anonymous Exo, was a female guardian. A huntress. Awoken. Although Xxx420MLGxxX was a human, he couldn't help but notice this Awoken's strikingly large "assets""....... Xxx420MLGxxX [waiting in line; to himself]: "Holy cow. Those things are as big as grenades!" [whispers to himself as his spider sense tingles]: "Dammit, Willie. Not now." Narrator: "As Martin completes his checkout, Xxx420MLGxxX finds himself behind only the Exo stranger." Xxx420MLGxxX: [whispering angrily] "Willie, screw off! This is embarrassing." [Willie doesn't listen] [The Exo, in the process of checking out an expensive 300 Silver Jackolyte, accidentally drops it. Its chunky orange pulp spills out all over the floor. The Exo bends down to deploy his ghost, and accidentally brushes against Willie in the process. Startled, Xxx420MLGxxX backs up and yells at Willie]: "That's it Willie! I woke up like three hours ago!" [The Exo has deployed his ghost to clean the Jackolyte mess, and Xxx420MLGxxX activates Arc Blade, startling everyone as he disappears from sight. Vanish. Even the Exo's ghost pauses out of curiosity as to why anyone would activate Arc Blade in a harmless grocery store. At least, the ghost figures, it is not a dangerous super. It is no Hammer of Sol. Though nobody can see Xxx420MLGxxX, the Awoken Huntress, Exo, and ghost do hear him say, "Take that Willie. Dinklage will have to fix this up later..." [Then Xxx420MLGxxX reappears, his Arc Blade finished. Below Xxx420MLGxxX, a pair of Orbs of Light spawns. The Exo customer in front of Xxx420MLGxxX, a capable reasoner even by Exo standards, who has been watching intently, is appalled. Xxx420MLGxxX asks him, "What? Did I Blink?". The Exo does not answer as he backs all the way out the mechanical sliding double doors of the store, which shut behind him. He deploys his Sparrow and speeds away. Xxx420MLGxxX now strides up to the checkout table and the Hot Huntress with her short Dead Orbit cloak. Hot Huntress: "Why hello fellow Hunter. Xxx420MLGxxX?" Xxx420MLGxxX: "That's my name alright." [addressing his ghost]: Dinklage, my groceries please." [Dinklage dumps the syntheses on the checkout table, along with a wad of silver, a few shards of glimmer, a Shock Pistol and, accidentally, Willie.] [Xxx420MLGxxX quickly snatches Willie out of Hot Huntress' sight and in the blink of an eye detonates it with a Flux Grenade. Hot Huntress pretends not to have noticed, and checks the synthesis out.] Xxx420MLGxxX: "So how'd you know my name? You've heard of me?" Hot Huntress: "No. It's displayed above your head." Xxx420MLGxxX: "Oh yeah. So you're just 'Hot Huntress'?" Hot Huntress: "Yeah." Xxx420MLGxxX: "Oh. Well you should come over tonight." Hot Huntress: "OK." Xxx420MLGxxX: "I'm on the sixth floor of Eververse Trading Company Apartments, room ninety. Be there at 10." Hot Huntress: "OK." [Xxx420MLGxxX is quite surprised at how easy that was. He leaves with his synthesis, heads to his apartment for lunch, and then plays some afternoon Iron Banner, in which he is destroyed by Sunbreakers' hammers.] *** [Ten O'clock, in Xxx420MLGxxX's apartment]: [Xxx420MLGxxX is asleep on his sofa when he hears a knock on the door. Startled, he flops onto the ground and rushes to open the door. It's Hot Huntress.] Xxx420MLGxxX: "Greetings, Huntress." Hot Huntress: "Hi" [walks into the room, timidly looks around]. Xxx420MLGxxX [shuts the door behind Hot Huntress]: "You don't talk much, do you?" Hot Huntress: "So where do we go?" Xxx420MLGxxX: "Oh- yeah. Follow me." [he takes Hot Huntress' hand and leads her through the room as they continue to talk] Xxx420MLGxxX: "So I never asked. What subclass?" Hot Huntress: "The Arc one." Xxx420MLGxxX: "So you're a Bladedancer too, then. You're good with knives?" Hot Huntress: "Better with my hands, actually" Xxx420MLGxxX: "Really. That's good then." Hot Huntress: "Yep." [they reach a door. Xxx420MLGxxX puts his hand on the touch scanner.] Xxx420MLGxxX: "When we're done here, tell me how you like this room. It only cost me an extra $19.99, and came with a set of uncommon Vanguard armor." [together they enter the room. It's a bedroom. With a bed. Xxx420MLGxxX softly shuts the door and dims the lights low. The pair stands, quietly facing each other. Xxx420MLGxxX: "Ladies first." Hot Huntress: [silence] [Both continue to stand] Xxx420MLGxxX: "Err... I guess I'll go first." [and at that Xxx420MLGxxX strips ass naked and stands stiff] Xxx420MLGxxX [slightly irritated and impatient]: "Your turn." [Hot Huntress removes first her hood and helm, revealing her short black hair and her strikingly blue face. She slides off her gauntlets, and then removes her chest armor, revealing her smooth, silky blue upper half. Now, had Xxx420MLGxxX been more observant he likely would have noticed something other than "blue silk". But his eyes were focused elsewhere- namely, on Hot Huntress' leg armor, or more specifically, her graceful, articulate fingers positioned over her armored pelvis. She unbuckles her belt and steps out of the leg armor, her long, elegant legs with their toned blue thighs emerging from hiding, her bosom plopping down onto Xxx420MLGxxX's smelly old mattress. There were Xxx420MLGxxX and Hot Huntress, alone together in a dimmed bedroom, fully exposed. Xxx420MLGxxX's eyes fell between Hot Huntress' awoken legs. Xxx420MLGxxX [horrified]: "What the f@ck?! Is that a Pocket Infinity?!" Hot Huntress [having taken slight offense]: "Well yeah. It takes a while to prime, but once it's ready not even a GHorn can hit as hard." Xxx420MLGxxX: "But- but- what the hell? You've got a Pocket Infinity?!" Hot Huntress: "Oh yeah. Since the day I was born. Well, before then even. Before I even popped. I'm actually a squeaker in real life. I just play as a female character." Xxx420MLGxxX [is shocked beyond belief]: "This is why horny little squeakers should play as their actual gender! I just stripped naked in front of a squeaker- is that even legal?!" Hot Huntress: [frantic] "Don't tell me what to do, or I'll get my mommy!" Xxx420MLGxxX: "Oh, God. God... "[contemplative] "So you're a transvestite." Hot Huntress: [after a lengthy breather to calm down; now, with almost too much confidence:] "Yeah, I guess you could say that." Xxx420MLGxxX: "Um... Please get off of my bed now." Hot Huntress [does not listen]: "Y'know, it's kind of funny. I'm not even a Hunter at all." Xxx420MLGxxX: "Excuse me?" Hot Huntress: "I am not a Hunter." Xxx420MLGxxX [after thinking through this revelation]: "So... what- what are you, then?" Hot Huntress: "Me? I'm..." [blue electricity begins to crackle around Hot Huntress' fists] Xxx420MLGxxX: [piecing the pieces together] "... A Striker." Hot Huntress: "That I am. And you, detective, you're part of my fireteam now." Xxx420MLGxxX [suddenly fearing for his life]: "Part of your fireteam?" Hot Huntress: "That's what I said. Part of my 3 man fireteam. The other, he's a Sunbreaker. He's always running a bit late to these. In the meantime..." [the fiery blue static around Hot Huntress' fists glows even more intensely, as if dipped in kerosene.] [Xxx420MLGxxX interrupts]: "So, basically you want to make me an enslaved tool for your pleasure." Hot Huntress: "All I'm saying, is prepare for my Fists of Havoc." Xxx420MLGxxX: "Dinklage, please don't bother with a resurrection."