This is just a caution that this story is just bizzare beyond belief, and all true. Like literally so weird no one could make this up. Ok so I live in a neighborhood that is somewhat spread out, and this isn't a shady/ghetto neighborhood. Nice houses and nice people: except for one man. I've never dared stepped into his house or tried to talk to him because he is so eccentric. I don't even know his name for -blam!- sake. So I like to run: at around 6:00 a.m I like to get up and take a jog, but a couple minutes in I'll end up at the start of a trail, but this man's house is right at the start of it. He is around his 60s-70s from what I can see. But that's all I know. And every morning he will go up to a bay window, and stand there completely naked. Ballsack and all. He'll just stand there and look me in the eyes, flexing his morning wood. One time I stopped, just stared at him, and he stared at me. Then I pulled out my phone, and he ran away frantically. Then the next morning I got up earlier so he wouldn't see me and taped a sign on his door window saying, "If you stare at me with twig and berries hanging out once more, I will call the police." Next morning I get up to jog, get to the trail, then this time he's wearing his speedo. That's right. Practically a rainbow man-thong. And this time he is smirking and flicking me off and dancing around, so I get on the trail and call the cops and tell them about this demonic perv. I finish the trail and turn around to head home, and lone behold I see two police cars and the man getting into the back of one of them, handcuffed and everything and he glances at me menacingly. And I've never seen him since.