"That's what they all say! But really I'm the smartest one here! Watch this! Your name is Thomas Guess, or Thomas the Pain Train or Pain Central. You're 26 stand at 6'5, brown hair, blue eyes, a muscular physique. You're Irish. You come from an Outer World family and a strict household, your family was poor, you joined the Feds. You have a Sonicar shotgun, a Heatburst pistol, and some knock off space marine armor with power fist. And in an alternate reality, this guy named Spectre kicked your ass!"