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originally posted in:The Digital Dojo
2/12/2016 2:31:05 AM
1
[spoiler]well, then. That just happened... Uh...[/spoiler]
*I come running into the courtyard, aiming my cannon.*
"What the hell is going on here?"
English
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"I took their base soldier."
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"No, you didn't. I'm here, so that's a problem, isn't it? Walk away, or get a face-full of superheated plasma. Your choice."
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"One man won't do anything. I. Am. The Battlefield."
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"That's nice. Now you're a pile of goo." *I fire my Plasma Beam at the Colonel, fully charged. It vaporizes him instantly.* "There we go. Problem solved, problem staying solved."
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He respawns behind you, then shoves his knife into your shoulder. "I. AM. THE BATTLEFIELD!"
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"GAH! WHAT THE -blam!-?! ARE YOU AN INSANE BATMAN?" *I kick him in the balls, and repeatedly stab him with his own knife in the throat.* "DIE YOU STACK OF SQUIRREL SHIT!"
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He respawns behind you again, then stabs you in the back of the throat. "HOW ABOUT YOU DIE YOU OVERSIZED ORANGE PEEL!"
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*The armor barely saves my life, before I stumble forward holding my neck.* "Hey, -blam!- you! It's hard to find this paint!" *I run up and break his legs by kicking them in, and then punch him in the chest.*
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As he falls he throws his knife at your visor. "YOU'RE A MAN TRAPPED IN A FEMALES BODY!"
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*The knife buries itself into my visor, cutting the crap out of my face. I shed the armor, grabbing the knife out of my armor.* "Nice knife. Well balanced. I've got a bigger one, though." *I put the knife in my satchel, and unsheathe my sword.* "What's your next move?"
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He pulls out a switch and something in the shape of a satchel, then tosses it at you. "It's called Jeep Stuff soldier." He flicks the switch and the "jeep stuff" explodes, killing both Vernon and Colonel.
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*It leaves behind a large crater, with the knife sticking out of the ground like a miniature Excalibur.*
