These are all from red vs blue.
Church-because he's like a self Rez warlock half the time
Wash- he's awesome
Sarge: the egotistical shotgun maniac would teach oryx a big lesson
Simmons- he'd figure everything out instantly
And finally, caboose, if he's angry enough he could literally shove oryxs taken power up his ass and around the corner. Granted Tex could do that but I wanted Caboose.
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