[b]2:15am[/b] You've just left the club with your friends. It took you all a while to realize how late it was due to the fact that you were getting too turnt up from the "Dedotated Wam Dubstep Remix." You say goodbye to your friends and enter your brand new 2015 Toyota Prius. The whine of the engine as you start it pleases you. You strap yourself in, aware that the metal deathtrap strapping 135 HP could easily be your cause of death. But that 51 mpg city, 48 mpg highway, and 11 second 0 - 60? That baby is a stallion and you know it. You turn up your radio which begins blaring the popular tune "Tunak Tunak Tun" by Daler Mehndi and rocket out of your parking space at a teeth chattering 4 MPH. 30 whole minutes pass and you've finally reached your cruising speed of 50 MPH. This whole time you have been listening to Tunak Tunak Tun on repeat, you're convinced that you want to convert to Islam. Just as you begin to download the "Where's Mecca?' app, your radio cuts out only to be replaced by a static that is also quickly cut out. You realize your Prius's battery has died. You coast to the side of the road and once you've reached a complete stop, observe your surroundings. It's clear that during your time of studying the music you'd been listening to, that you'd lost your way. You're on the side of a dirt road surrounded by thick woods. After weighing your options, you know the only logical thing left to do is search for a potato to create an electrical charge to spark your vehicle back to life. All your life you've been scared of the dark, but you can't let that stop you right now. You walk down the middle of the dirt road all alone, or, so you think... You reach a point where the dirt road is intersected by another. You observe the street signs, you've been walking on Micro Ln. The road intersecting it is Chango Rd. In the middle of the road, you spot an onion. Fear lights up your body, you have a deathly allergy to onions. Very faintly you think you can hear Smash Mouth's "All Star" You're frozen with fear staring at the onion, suddenly, a small figure jumps on top of the onion holding a white box. The figure then stuffs the onion into the white box and shuts it. It presses a button and the box lights up. It's piercing blue eye then darts up at you. Seemingly from the Doppler effect, you hear the words, "Microwave it," all around you. It's clear to you that this isn't any ordinary box, it's a microwave. Suddenly, the onion erupts and the explosion propels you backwards the dank distance of 420 inches. You see a shockwave of electricity etch across the ground as you strain your neck to look around. The electricity lights up the rest of Micro Ln and you watch it melt your car right before your very eyes. Out of disbelief, you scream. The figure then quickly darts toward you. A faint blue beam coming from it's eye lights up your leg. You hear again, in a voice that can only be described as Microsoft Sam's. "Microwave it." Your skin begins to feel slightly itchy, you look down and see that your leg is red and beginning to bubble. The figure begins to look up your body, wherever the blue light from it's eye touches, begins to burn. You scream in pain and attempt to kick out, only flinging the liquid mass that is now your leg. You throw out your arms in order to strike the figure, but this only gets it's attention to your head. Your eyes lock with it's. Your brain begins to race with only one thought. [b]Microwave it. Microwave it. Microwave it. Microwave it. Microwave it.[/b] Finally you cannot see anymore, your eyes melt out of their sockets. Gravity seems to reverse on your skull as it collapses in on itself. You become a pile of liquid flesh. Weeks later, someone crosses this intersection. They see the Prius half melted into the ground. Next to it, they find a note that read's.... "Couldn't find a meter. But here's a microwave."